SHAME!

Anniversary of Gossip, the gossip page. A lengthy issue to figure out what makes a gossip and why.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Woman is a cunt, she is pussy. This is all too ugly to many.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Culture of shame rules with humiliation and fear. Too hard to handle.

| Henna Timanttimetsä
Girl who learns from early on that there is something wrong and it is with her because there is shame she cannot quite understand why or what but it is like an animal which is her and the ultimate evil and is because of her not knowing quite why. Any other person is above this shame and constant wrongdoing because they are bigger. It is something she did which was being born, her sex which she must be ashamed of, she feels constantly a look which is angry, looks upon her that are looking at nothing, hate in the look, in those looks, contempt and disgust or something to take away, burn and run. Shame which exists only because of her, her sin, her existence, her rottenness is brought by her upon others to be ashamed of and talk about to purify those who speak of her and look at her but don’t see anything but dirt, something to turn backs to. She becomes to feel guilty for what she is completely, that she has caused such horrible thing as she is, her becoming, anything she represents and is, is bad and all wrong, a mistake and accident. She has to hide herself. Best way to do it is to be silent, be as invisible as possible, as quiet as possible afraid that she will be revealed and hated again and again. The only one who does things wrong breaking the silence which cannot be broken because everything and the wall of silence and effort seen would be ruined. You must not cry or be sad, it would break the unspoken, it would tell how all is wrong. To be revealed is the worst thing to happen. To face the ill there is would be too much to take and shameful as is crying. Things that are wrong, emotions that should just be likable not to annoy and reveal anything that might be wrong, she does them things wrong anyway so why try anything but not to push that wall of shame and weeping. She is the wrong, she is the wrong, the out-of-place to be ashamed of who can break and destroy the comfortable silence and not having to face any negative emotions there are. There is nothing wrong with the environment but with her still. Easiness of finding a scapegoat and squeeze her into being as small as possible. All the blame there is is placed on her and she carries it all until it is too much. It is quite a burden to carry and to give, be pushed aside and forgotten until guilt finds you until you cannot hide.

 

Penalty of forever you will be branded.

| Henna Timanttimetsä
Woman sexually is a target. She is a target as a mind and size of small that must be taught into fitting ideological mold, bound and told what to do. Bad women do not do what they are told to do, which also becomes a silent mode of knowing what is expected of you, so to do what is unexpected is always a victory. When woman is sexually active and shows this in public she is a beast, a whore, stupid enough to do otherwise than what is expected of her and an out of control freak mostly who is seen in negative light and must be punished. Penalty is shame and leaving outside the group of those who keep themselves within comprehensive and civil boundaries which are set to females. It is no wonder outspoken and loud woman is seen arrogant and rude. Dressing provocatively is always a sign of certain kind of looseness, bad taste and wildness that is not permitted behavior for proper women who obey rules. Those rules which are for women are to maintain order and follow religious mentalities, know religious penalties, divisions and fears. What happens to a woman who is disobedient, goes where she should not and does what she pleases following rules of her own mind disrespecting traditional place of woman, normative behavioral rules and regulations of what is good to do and what is not. Good is keeping the society unchanged.

Man is manly when he fucks around, woman is doomed. Man is doing his manly fun, woman is doing out of stupidity and irrationality, out of sheer irresponsibility and ignorance, coldness and because women are not to be trusted. And because she is diminished into carer of man understanding his flimsy ways, still he is not weak, she is. He has got back up which is the whole of manhood and men who do what they urge to do and are allowed. It is no wonder women are weaker in this context of violence and minimizing. They have a heavy burden to carry and wall of prohibitions in front. They are not to lift heavy weights but they do so without anyone noticing the burden lifted weighs a ton or two. One burden is a burden of history and tradition which loads have not moved that much even though we like to think we have made progress. It is difficult for many to look at their genitals or say their correct names out loud. When asked whether women can say vagina and think it is perfectly normal without shame result is many find it awkward. Yes why on earth say vagina aloud in this overly sexualized world. We don’t say it we go around it. Still sex is the most talked about topic, topic that raises scandals, emotions, storms because of daring to address the issue or doing something that breaks the rules of obedient society where nothing much changes other than the gadgets.

To hear puzzling comment how can someone do art about menstruation and hang the picture on her living room wall is still a comment of this day. We think this issue is somehow settled, women bleed and it is normal part of their physiological and anatomical activity. Women and girls do menstruate monthly and in many countries it is a shameful dirty happening not beautiful or normally acceptable. I was ashamed of menstruating when I was in my teens. It was intolerable and difficult to understand why my body without my consent wanted to do voluntary bleeding from my vagina and that place felt dirty, unspeakable, it hurt like hell for couple of days and my whole body felt achy for nothing. It was like my body bullied me into being something else than what I was used to and comfortable being, boyish. The transformation into woman was something I found difficult to accept because the whole process was agony, scary, out of control and I didn’t see any point of it happening. It happened without my permission showing my insides as I felt turning inside out. To choose to be of one gender and sex would have been an ideal, I thought, because being a woman seemed an endless list of sexualized patterns, rules and ways I didn’t want any part of. To be a woman was to be under authority and rule which seemed and still is tyranny.

To do what is expected of me has shown to be impossible. Expectations are minimizing and denying and prohibiting me to find out what I can do and be. This is not anybody else’s decision but mine. I do what I find satisfying and my goals are set by me.

Quest for presentable.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

How culture pushes us to mold our appearance into admired package to be wanted? We want to be wanted. What are those forces that do not give us permission to be accepted as such, as we desire to look like, but make us follow given patterns and imitate images that show who are wanted? Is it due to beauty norms which all the time change as does fashion, what is hip and what to have, what to be, where to be? Isn’t it weakness to follow beauty norms of others, to let one’s mind be dictated by machinery that only cares about profit? It is the weakness of modernism, modern man, and also as such a contradiction as modern man is supposed to be individual and original maker of one’s fate.

The most I have faced the norms is by men who have very strict norms for women in mind meaning that a woman is a continuation to a man to stand by a man and is seen with a man as his. Everything is measured from head to toe. Woman is to be with a man to complement him to bring him something extra. She is his choice either good or bad. Idea is to manipulate environment believe how good this man is. The thought of a man who is seen with this and this kind of woman and what of it. To accept and value woman as equal person is extremely difficult to implement in a world where woman is an object without capabilities other than what are believed to be hers. It is a sad reality of how life for us to live is for eyes of others to show off, continue a wreck culture. Basic thoughts of women as for someone to mold in order to serve and please.

 

Unlucky mentally ill birthplace

| Henna Timanttimetsä

It is about the shame of it. Shame of what you stand for and what you are. Denying, blame, abandonment, stupidity, chauvinism, brutal arrogance, violence, diminishing to nonexistence, hate and placing oneself above because one can. People who are afraid to face their minds, their deeds and the fact of being wrong, doing wrong repeatedly and finding justification for things done like nothing else could be done. There is nothing more sorry and pathetic than that. Inability to face the shit you have committed, crime you have done willingly like murder.

People who are afraid of their own illness and oh boy they are soaked with sickness. Why don’t you pour alcohol down your throat, because this is all about you. Drinking makes you the man, the strong, the accepted in a herd of fucking idiots. Laughing at those sad depressed who cry make you feel contempt for them, those others. Those other people who actually seek help are the brave and clever ones. They need every bit of encouragement they can get. To heal one’s mind is hard work and some people are ready to do that. People who want to get better change the world.

Sometimes all one can do is to cry. Crying with someone who actually cares. Emotional outbreaks are banned in macho world, seen as pathetic and weak. You are strong this way is the slogan and stereotype considered acceptable. Strong here is physical and sadistic. Wrong kind of shallow strong is the kind that puts people down, kills, takes away human worth. It is our social system that gives abusers and violators credit. Our system systematically encourages violent behavior, encourages bullies.

http://imaginingequality.imow.org/content/football-girls-khayelitsha?utm_content=buffer81be7&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
Football fields provide safe spaces for girls in an informal settlement in South Africa. –

Glued to every breath. Take a deep breath. Hold that trophy dear, polish it, keep it intact in a vacuum for us to look at.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

She can’ t help of laughing. Well what did you expect. Yes exactly, what do you expect?

Glued to what? To the wall, to the pavement, to the past, to what you said, to your face, grabbing your coattail. To your penis probably. Maybe so. So beware of the glue-fingered woman. She’ll come and catch you. If it looks like to you she is in need of your comfort and security of your safe and entertaining company, run. Take that cup, turn and jump into the water.

Highly irregular blond naivety can be deceiving. Is it truly naivety of mine or someone else’s.  Inability to see female sex in a light of accomplishing and creating herself on her own. Making a way as an independent individual who has thoughts of her own. We do not live in a world that is open to variety and different kinds of opinions.

Shame. The shameful thing. No, not what I am wearing, no. Just born bad and doing the unexpected. What did they expect?
I am overwhelmed by the lack of empathy and compassion, scared of such people who seem to be the most. We are so attached to our need of ‘friends’ and contacts that we suspect everyone whom we do not know. We think we know those who we have fun with, who are ‘close’ and friendly with us. After having met men who are ashamed of women who do not fit category of ideal trophy woman, women who can be displayed for those friends, and after having been exposed to men’s complete indifference and unawareness of what it is to be a woman in a world of trophies, I am beginning to have the whole picture of the very limited way how men see women. Surprise is of course that many women wish to be displayed as trophies. You know already what a trophy woman is, right? It is probably not an official term. Woman is presented as an object in male competition and game where winner takes it all.

We like to expect and think we know. We are hugely disappointed when our expectations fail us, when they are not fulfilled. Question is how we become to expect something? We expect something from someone, something to happen, we expect our lives to be of certain kind. We have ‘great’ expectations. Great meaning big material things mostly. We like to show off, be better than. To define the better would be good to check from time to time. What we value and why.

Men’s fears towards femininity that breathes outside regulated cocooned womanhood. What is a woman?

| Henna Timanttimetsä
She left her panties and other underwear on the floor without thinking much who would see them as she does with all her clothes, dropping them off liking to watch them herself as constellations of random and a day; cotton, lace and strings, used, changed, private creatures which a minute ago were pressed against her body and let loose. Memory of a cloth has parts of her form. What is so disgusting about it she does not understand but tries maybe that is what she likes because she has to be pure and clean to be liked. She does not leave her clothes on the floor to stay there for weeks but just for a moment, she is not that disturbed.. It is a moment of absent-mindedness, carelessness and something of herself she likes to examine, her relationship to all. It is that she does not behave like she should behave well-mannered especially when she is alone. There are windows, anybody can see in. She malfunctions and is dislocated in places like arms, in places that are sterile and in perfect order and under control that nothing breathes there, like finding perfection in death. Demand for sterile body is against life’s natural flow, decay and against nature in her, her dirtiness, her will and her femininity that smells. Why are you so horrified but you still want to barge in, invade her and her privacy to watch her wrongness to blame her and accuse her for her being wrong not being like a norm of the civilised. Do you lack something when you do that or is it just power you like over her? Do you notice what you lack? Act of curious and wish to speak about what an abomination she is. What did she do? Fears of men have become fears of women fulfilling stripped and solid perfection to be admired. We are raised to think superiority is sterile environment just as a superior race would be. Shame of what did she do. Shame that is experienced because of her, for her and what she is.