What are the methods for personal growth? Pointing a finger? Depending on where you point at and what does it mean.

January 24, 2019 | Henna Timanttimetsä

How do we measure growth and what is the goal? To be a good, valuable person can mean what is your net worth and worth in the eyes of others. Amount of appreciation is shown in many ways as is contempt… Are you worthy of trust, being liked, appreciation on your field of expertise, an individual who is a knowledgable master and someone to look up to? Public opinion defines a lot, but is it trustworthy and where does it lead us or is meant to lead us? Personal growth as we perceive it and examine via where we come from and where we should aim at is tricky and looks can be deceiving. What is the essence of us that is to be cultivated, what is the good to be had, what do we think we are capable of and what could be the unknowns to reach out for. What is the starting point and what are the possibilities there for us, for anyone, individual potential and our interests leading the way: are we what we look like, where we come from?

How we perceive our individual growth as human beings is a matter of other people not only us, their influence on us which is not to be underestimated. To know your worth comes from others on large part till we recognise ourselves and our individuality. How necessary growth/change is in terms of one’s place, making a living, how it all happens for you what is the happening of life, what is possible and living a decent life, what we want of life, what it becomes to be by you and what does it mean in terms of effort and measuring growth, spiritual, personal, financial, whatever growth there is and what is the worth/value of making, looking like, connecting etc. Is our growth visible, measurable in material, how do we feel the change around and in us as we do change all the time? What is it to be liked for us, how much we yearn to be successful and likeable? Do we believe in ourselves via other people’s approval, what other people say and think seems to be of the essence, a matter of appreciating life is to belong, what do we appreciate in life and how of our own it can be made? Do we fit in and is that what makes us happy and life worth living? What is the needed change here and there and how change happens other than via consumption and visual validation and belonging? To look good means you feel good and are well? Is change something to be afraid of as it can be unwanted and a bad thing, to change into what? How misery changes us, makes us grow, do we accept it as part of life or do we get bitter? What is personal growth worth when the best thing to do is imitate? How can such and such life be had, what is the cost and which qualities do we like seeing in us and others, are we growing with the world or is the world growing small?

SOME performance

April 9, 2018March 10, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

What makes an interesting person?

December 19, 2016February 19, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

Repetition reflects the state of people.

Psyche hurts, or psyche the unknown makes us hurt. Something we like to hide, not admit existing fully is out in the open especially when it is denied.

September 23, 2015February 23, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

How we think we have to be careful when we think we get easily damaged mentally and what kind of contradiction there is as what the world is like is extremely damaging on multiple layers which we may not even see, but we have gone against the things that damage us not to be easily damaged. What can damage be and is it non-fixable or dot damaged people become disposable? Damage is unavoidable. We do not live without pain and hurt but it has to talked about and be seen as organic part of being a human.

We can possibly all agree that human psyche is a scary place, if you can call it a place as it is a very unknown spot inside of us, distant to many and as such something private, sealed and dangerous to be opened. The not knowing much about human mind and how it works is a stepping stone in contemporary society still as we think we know when we have no respect for the brain, not even brain of our own. This is a serious case of undervaluing human intellect and consciousness as we quite lightly toss the sensitive blob, delicate part of ourselves, aside as minor issue which is too heavy yet too sensitive, pathetic and tender to recognize. We may be tempted to psychologise and diagnose without required knowledge, with our bias in use, with our shallow info and understanding. To understand what it takes to know anybody or yourself is a triumph itself. Unbelievable as it may sound knowing yourself is a task most demanding of all, not to speak of knowing someone else. What does it mean to know yourself then or learn to know what you are about, why you are what you are, what you do and want, why those things you do qualify, define you or don’t. Demand for accuracy, correctness and absolute knowing what you want in life is a bizarre demand when one reflects the issue of what person can be with what one is expected to be.

Somebody you follow is not a person to you.

Psyche is there out in the open, if you fail to see do you think you have a problem?

A quiet person who is partly invisible partly an impenetrable a forbidden place (has to be shaken, has to be something wrong with that person, so strange almost scary), uninteresting likely to be forgotten, impossible to invade

April 5, 2015March 6, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

That person who exists for some reason but why? Why is she like that, nobody asked. She is clearly different: how to pull something out of that mouth? How to torment that mind so it starts to do and process something we understand and enjoy? That person who does not say anything, cannot, has not got anything interesting to say, say those who define what is interesting, who talk constantly themselves, about themselves. To find out and understand, what and what then? Decide whether to like or not, whether to let belong or not? Accepting is difficult, to think one’s head is not the only head there is, that we are not one consciousness, one right kind of form nor shape.

What is sick where illness does not show? What is wrong there where nothing is wrong? What is there where it is not accepted to be what I feel?

For many reasons. First I thought I have nothing inside of me. I felt terrible all the time. I tried to smile. It felt phony. I refused to believe I was nothing although the messages I have been given all my life were exactly that and I just didn’t understand why. It was no wonder I felt so awful and empty and eventually found out I had been depressed for a very long time. That was me some time ago.

Quiet is something puzzling to me for this reason, a very personal reason, an ongoing accusation which is against the quiet that I have felt is interesting because it is so belittling. Quiet is someone not participating, someone with a flaw or lack, something is wrong, something is missing when we are quiet, in all quiet, in silence like there is and was nothing there to say, but there is a demand to constant talk.
For various reasons quiet is interesting, for our need to hide away and step over, deny quiet existence as pathetic and ridiculous. How we build on noise, expect noise and sound to have all the meaning we need and have, noise that equals content and something is given into the world with sound, with words, with talk that never stops.

Created equal! It should be grand.

March 11, 2015February 22, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

She is like that she does that, it is very human to be suspicious of her, at least now after all that history of man, of ours where woman is a merchandise. Accusation is she is like that.
She is like that she does that, with no end, a cowardice act an attempt to hide herself and let strangers to use her body, get paid for it. What do you mean ours? What is ours? What do you mean hide? What she is, there is no use in hiding, we know her what she is, what she is for , what she can do. When you sell your body you sell yourself, there is nowhere to hide.
She is like that she does that, doing the dirty work, walking the night, looking, looked at
She is like that she does that, to experience such hate, to live in fear
She is like that she does that, it may come as a shock what she had to do to survive

Without her she gets made, a kind of other, malformation of sex. She needs persona and identity of her own. What does she make of herself, of this lot? Out of these forms of hers. She must build herself.

October 18, 2014March 7, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

Character of mist that makes you feel cold inside. Her reputation precedes her, irregular person, despicable. She is what you heard, you think. What you made of her in your mind via your and other people’s speech. Isn’t she. Talk works like clay. Story of her could be continued in this way unless she would not act for her defense. Get that clay into her own hands. She needs herself to oppose, resist and defend herself. Nobody else does it. Nobody else is interested in her life. Her life what it really is, what she really is like and able to do. Her reality is not interesting to anybody but herself, she lives it, not you and makes it interesting. She makes her life even there is discouragement, contempt, laughter, ill talk, threat, there is so little faith in her that it is unbelievable and unbearable. To accept passively what goes on and on, because others accept it, it suits them and they say there is nothing one can do, for her it is not an option. That is her exceptional quality, active resistance, energy of hers.

Evaluations, descriptions, adjectives, measurements and comparisons, faults, flaws, drawbacks. Qualities we need. Qualities we have made us and what are they worth, how do qualities change. We imagine, make, consume and refine ourselves.

She is not right. Characteristics that is stated as a fact without further evidence than hearsay. Demonizing her to people who listen. Who asked about her. Without her she gets made. As if she died. Character of mist that makes you feel cold inside. Is this the same world we inhabit? You speak of me, but you do not confront me nor speak to me. How little respect there is, how little trust. She is what you heard as a fact. To think otherwise would be unthinkable. Thinkable pleasure, envious joy of dragging her down speaks mountains. She is not right.

She is not right. To kill is to entertain. It is to better yourself. To paint a picture of malicious woman is to draw a separating line. Pointing her out from above, from a distance, from acclaimed perfection, from accepted shameless perfection undeniable.

To know her is to say what she is. She is loud, she is noisy, she is quiet, she is broken, she is tense, she is irrational, she is shameless, she is lost, she is dead.