Tired of confronting thrown dirty cloths of yours. Tired of cleaning man-made deserts. I need you to have to face and own completely and entirely what you make.
Sky of sky, sky of light, sky of space, pressuring cold, sky without breath, sky of layers that we invade, our particles of what is that. I want to say emptiness but it is anything but. They are full clouds until they collide, the contradictions entwined in black night coming down. Blackest and lilac space, part of it open but I am thankful for this lack of artificial light. Circling sensations of being small insignificant, breathing when I would like to hold my breath. Tired of this work. Not seeing anything but that above, anything worth seeing, anything worth sensing.
Meet a naked vibrating man, to be an inconsiderable prick and float. Take part in an orgy, routine penetration, make love, moan, hold your feet in the water, move your feet, have a drink, have another drink, have a tan, put sun lotion on, jump in the water, splash the water, play in water, smoke a cigarette, watch the sun, lie on a towel and watch the sky, watch swimmers, watch clouds, watch people have sex in the night. Make a movie with your phone. Dance holding your phone.
We like naturalness as a copy, to wear and something made for us, shaped for us, but we are disgusted and fearsome when nature comes too close in form of insects, menstruation, nipples and weather. As we ‘evolve’, nature becomes unfamiliar to us, it attacks us with force. Is nature at war with us since we have been warring against nature all along as it seems or is it just a natural state of being, a cycle where destruction is inevitable to renewing? We wish to expand and grow, search for opportunities, which is good, that makes us opportunists. It is somehow a naturalist way of living, kill or be killed, win or lose, taking risks keeps us alive mentally and physically. So in a way we are practicing our nature. If you do not move ahead and win in this game, someone else will. Today what does it means to act out (as we are performers) in civilized manner in civilized world, in a world of excessive need to produce new, cultivate the culture of easiness and seemingly high performance: exploit, mal use, discard to get a new one, because we can and are unable to repair, unable to make another one for ourselves, can make our world malfunctioning at one point. Something about the easiness and effortlessness we like and complexity we do not control is where we stumble.
We need to stay healthy, living in clean environment is a right and nature is in this sense a friend of ours as it is the healer, calming our minds, busy bodies and repairing itself after us (just like in Chernobyl). In nature and with help of nature we can find ourselves and become whole again is the mantra. Nature is the sellable product we must find, from where we find the cure, which we come close to like a product to smell and apply on skin. We are scared of the beast, the amount of abuse is we see it our right to harness the dragon, don’t see it as abuse and we fail to understand how far we can go and what is this trip about. We miss what it is to go far as we call life a journey, spiritual travelling, a trophy of having a life in luxury, a deed of travelling to clear ocean. Oneself can be too far from oneself, it scares to be close.
We, fundamentally biological beings (I’m trying not to be hugely banal about the characterization of us and biology, us as a species, sexes etc., characteristics of what comes to being human as a biologically determined form and shape, organic and changing. As we know it, us and nature, which we know, is what often happens, we think we now), are dictated by random events that happen (welfare state is to make the impact of randomness of life less hurtful and cruel, right? Nations are for humans to survive and thrive, not the opposite.) Our lives are up to a point very random still, not to mention the environment and hormones (funny combination but essential); our chemistry and what it makes us feel and do, is a big part of us and our world as is our anatomy, our biological functions, thoughts and needs etc. There are lots of things that dictate us, we just don’t like to admit it as we are not in control, we can be prepared to that hard fact. We like it to look like we are in control and build the structure of control, to control others and have control, things organized, having things done and having made it, give us the power feeling. We know what we are doing. I’m interested in how much power is an illusion and what is power in terms of self-discovery, living and doing in relation to others. Denying biology is the ‘new’ way of empowerment and it is the you can be what you want-ideology, which is a wild thought, thought that we have the ultimate control or want to have control over every aspect there is to being human because we so desire. This issue has come up with transgenderism and in bringing up children, sculpting one’s body to match the inner feelings and desires completely or images seen: this is what I want for me. How it seems to me is this, where we are headed to, towards the utopia of complete control of our bodies and our destiny especially thinking what makes one happy and what we are in the eyes of those who look at us. Feminism has a lot to say about this, lot to say about competition, competing and how opportunities stay open for all.
Meaning of biology for us is the inseparable and something to dive in to constantly which has interested me as an artist: as it does not end, how much part of nature are we and dependent on it, as bodies and minds, to speak of this sounds naive, how come? Without nature there is no us but we like to move away from nature like we were standing on it, as we have no control over it we make shields. Nature is far away as it is the unknown eventful place, in part and for many for most parts we like to be unconnected to this beast we profit from. Nature does not connect with us in suitable, comfortable manner but affects and looks like as a disaster area with which we are ill-prepared to cope which always is a big mistake as we do not know what is ahead of us.
Life of a butterfly, gouache, colouring pen and watercolour on paper, 75*55, 2009
IT IS DEMANDING TO BE KIND TO SOMEONE WHO IS SMALLER THAN YOU.
It is demanding to be kind to people. It is demanding to be kind to the world. It is demanding to be kind to animals. It is demanding to be kind to strangers. It is demanding to be kind to those you know. It is demanding to be kind those you don’t know. It is demanding to be kind towards nature. It is demanding to be kind to yourself. It is demanding to be kind to insects. It is demanding to be kind to people you do not like. It is demanding to be kind to people who are mean to you. It is demanding to be kind to the street.
She left her panties and other underwear on the floor without thinking much who would see them as she does with all her clothes, dropping them off liking to watch them herself as constellations of random and a day; cotton, lace and strings, used, changed, private creatures which a minute ago were pressed against her body and let loose. Memory of a cloth has parts of her form. What is so disgusting about it she does not understand, but tries, maybe that is what she likes, because she has to be pure and clean to be liked. She does not leave her clothes on the floor to stay there for weeks, but just for a moment, she is not that disturbed.. It is a moment of absent-mindedness, carelessness and something of herself she likes to examine, her relationship to all. It is that she does not behave like she should behave well-mannered especially when she is alone. There are windows, anybody can see in. She malfunctions and is dislocated in places like armchairs, in places that are sterile, quiet and in perfect order and under control that nothing breathes there, like finding perfection in death, which demonstrates a moment by oneself thinking.
Demand for sterile body is against life’s natural flow, decay and against nature in her, her dirtiness, her will and her femininity that smells. Why are you so horrified but you still want to barge in, invade her and her privacy to watch her wrongness to blame her and accuse her for her being wrong not being like a norm of the civilised. Do you lack something when you do that or is it just power you like over her? Do you notice what you lack? Act of curious and wish to speak about what an abomination she is. What did she do? Fears of men have become fears of women fulfilling stripped and solid perfection to be admired. We are raised to think superiority is sterile environment just as a superior race would be.
It is the shame of it. Shame of what did she do. Shame that is experienced because of her, for her and what she is.
Men’s fears towards femininity that breathes outside regulated cocooned womanhood. What is a woman?
everything I do is to protect you everything I do is to protect you everything I do is to protect you everything I do is to protect you everything I do is to protect you everything I do is to protect you everything I do is to protect you everything I do is to protect you
Majakollektiivi Timanttimetsä 