Without her she gets made, mad, malformation of sex.

19 huhtikuun, 201817 huhtikuun, 2023 | Henna Timanttimetsä

oil pastel on paper, drunk passed out/why women drink?2015

Without her she gets made, a kind of other, malformation of sex and an assumption. She needs persona and identity of her own. How does she do that? What does she make of herself, of this, of this lot, of this lottery ticket. Out of these forms of hers she must build herself, of pieces a misty character, that makes you feel cold inside. Her reputation precedes her, irregular person, despicable, untrustworthy, she is what you heard you think you heard. You made her in your mind via your and people’s speech, exchange of ideas. Isn’t that her? Talk works like gas, it is intoxicating and vulgar. Violence taking the least effortless way. Story of her could be continued this way unless she would not act on her defense, get that mess into her own hands, clay and a piece of bone. She needs herself to oppose, resist and defend herself. Nobody else does it. Nobody else is interested in her life, her self, what it really is, what she really is like and able to do.

Her reality is not interesting to anyone but herself, she lives it, not you and makes it. She makes her life even though there is discouragement, contempt, laughter, ill talk, threat, there is so little faith in her that it is unbelievable and unbearable. To accept passively what goes on and on because others accept it, it suits them and it is normal, ill is the norm. They say there is nothing one can do for her. It is not an option to change that. That is not true. It is her exceptional quality, resistance, energy of hers that changes anything.

Evaluations, descriptions, adjectives, measurements and comparisons, faults, flaws, drawbacks, qualities we need to place someone in that tight spot to feel powerful and someone else small, qualities we have made and what are they worth, how do qualities needed change anything? Any inner strength there? We imagine, make, consume and refine ourselves as well as we can. We consume others to make ourselves. To find that strength there to do better is so little.

She is not right. There is a right way to be. Characteristics that are stated as a fact without further evidence and hearsay is all. Demonizing her to people who listen, who ask without her, without her she gets made as if she died. Character of mist that makes you feel cold inside. Is this the same world we inhabit: you speak of me but you do not confront me nor speak to me. How little respect there is, how little trust. She is what you heard as a fact. To think otherwise would be unthinkable, unthinkable pleasure, envious, joy of dragging her down speaks mountains: She is not right. She is not right. To kill is to entertain. It is to better yourself, to paint a picture of malicious woman is to draw a separating line. Pointing her out from above, from a distance, from acclaimed perfection, from accepted shameless perfection undeniable. To know her is to say what she is: she is loud, she is noisy, she is quiet, she is broken, she is tense, she is useless, she is irrational, she is shameless, she is lost, she is dead. How stupid she is. Stupidity being something very human. Not understanding why.

She is sex

18 helmikuun, 201811 joulukuun, 2020 | Henna Timanttimetsä

you belong to me series of women killed by their husbands 2

She is sex. She wants sex. She thinks of sex. She sees sex. She likes sex. She is sex. She invites to sex. She inspires to sex. She is sex. She thinks of sex. She means sex. She wears sex. She looks like she wants sex. She looks like sex. She looks for sex. She is the reason to sex. She is reason to sex. She is her rape. She is evil. She is luring. She is bad, she is just bad, she is twisted, she is sex. She is for sex. She is to be penetrated and won, she is a prize, she is trash, she is to be owned. She is to be thrown away, she is her sex. She is dangerous, sex is dangerous. Her sex is to be controlled, tied and bound. It is her idea, it is in her, the idea of sex.

Sermon for the Easter day Monday, a talk hack, a mind hack.

6 huhtikuun, 201513 heinäkuun, 2022 | Henna Timanttimetsä

Isn’t it strange to live in a world of illusions, in a world where there is talk that means nothing, if it means something it is to hurt, advertise and just talk to make noise without a pause, where there is talk just to make time pass, to make conversation: How are you doing and so on. To talk of other people’s businesses as they were your business is a form of therapy. The kind of self-help in which there is no self-reflection in a healing manner, but there is something to be let out. What that something is can be quite violent and brutal emotionally negative junkyard bringing joy for those who take part and like to roll over in that mud of human mind. Gossiping has been a way to interact, take part, inform, keep the community rules traditionally old-fashioned and in force effective without change, talk behind one’s back to keep on shaming, a punishment that should be feared and avoided. Gossip makes a division clear, there are those others who do things we would not do. Gossiper does not face oneself, there isn’t progress other than growing news in the air which can be shared with friends. Gossip is jewels and something to own. This form of collective therapy does not change those who take part in spreading the info. It is meant to uplift the morally stronger, those who hide but enjoy dirt like pastry and it is meant to be fun for those who do it, to see those below who are targeted and betrayed, hit in disguise from behind the corner. It is a form of lying as there is no blame for those who gossip. They are released and liberated. They are doing the ground work for creating public fables and facades which last for decades for those who hear and read tales created.

Knowledge which is private, personal has gotten out there, a secret which is forbidden to talk about. Knowledge of the wrong of sharing forbidden info is part of the fun. Danger is there but it is on the good side who knows what is good. Vice made honorable by a crowd who share and agree. The most important things are the need to know, need to talk, what else? What gossip is all about is deeply rooted and a culture of old habits that will not vanish. Gossip is culturally an important phenomenon without a doubt and a huge part of our daily culture, a massive part. Interest in what people unknown to us do, how they do and why is not all about hurt and domination. Who dominates what plays an important role as well. What is true, what is said, what is left untold and why a lie is more easy to believe than the truth. What kind of images we want to see and believe are true, how we reflect and compare ourselves make curious predictable patterns. There is desire to imitate. We maybe admire those who expose themselves, who want to be under observation and the looking eye. How are we so trapped by vulture culture enjoying all it brings? For some reason there is demand and supply, a never-ending need to bring out the worst features and shallowest of us in front. Impacts on all of society are profound.

Unlucky mentally ill birthplace

8 lokakuun, 20147 maaliskuun, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

It is about the shame of it. Shame of what you stand for and what you are. Denying, blame, abandonment, stupidity, chauvinism, brutal arrogance, violence, diminishing to nonexistence, hate and placing oneself above because one can. People who are afraid to face their minds, their deeds and the fact of being wrong, doing wrong repeatedly and finding justification for things done like nothing else could be done. There is nothing more sorry and pathetic than that. Inability to face the shit you have committed, crime you have done willingly like murder.

People who are afraid of their own illness and oh boy they are soaked with sickness. Why don’t you pour alcohol down your throat, because this is all about you. Drinking makes you the man, the strong, the accepted in a herd of fucking idiots. Laughing at those sad depressed who cry make you feel contempt for them, those others. Those other people who actually seek help are the brave and clever ones. They need every bit of encouragement they can get. To heal one’s mind is hard work and some people are ready to do that. People who want to get better change the world.

Sometimes all one can do is to cry. Crying with someone who actually cares. Emotional outbreaks are banned in macho world, seen as pathetic and weak. You are strong this way is the slogan and stereotype considered acceptable. Strong here is physical and sadistic. Wrong kind of shallow strong is the kind that puts people down, kills, takes away human worth. It is our social system that gives abusers and violators credit. Our system systematically encourages violent behavior, encourages bullies.