What is a feeling? A physical body constantly receives messages from within—they are experiences that speak through us. The body is always communicating. What these messages tell us is fascinating, and the question is how much we should listen to our feelings. I have a feeling of laying on the sofa all day, not a good idea for many days in a row.
The accuracy and power of feelings in our lives is a central issue. Some people are very passionate and explosive, while others are stoic, in control but feel no less. Whether we show or suppress emotions—whether we talk about them or not—varies greatly. Feelings come and go throughout the day, and now we have the time and resources to monitor, discuss, and act upon them.
They are signals, constantly present and often uncontrollable. That is why self-control has traditionally been seen as a virtue, it still is. At the same time, victimhood is often valued—it demands empathy and can even resemble an industry. By putting oneself out there emotionally, one can provoke reactions and find interest.
Displaying emotions can become a skill: being perceived as emotionally expressive is interesting, more alive. Feelings can be demanding; they seem to call for a response, something others can relate to or hate. Hate and love. But one must be careful about how emotions are expressed—why, and to whom. So far, showing of emotions has been a sign of weakness. Today there is a rebellion against this old way of thinking.
This kind of emotional presentation can also be seen as a form of manipulation, sometimes stereotypically described as a “feminine” skill. “Feeling like a woman,” or living as a woman, can be interpreted as a kind of theater—though, in truth, living as a human being is always, in some sense, performative.
Conversation about womanhood goes round on feeling like a woman, which sounds very hormone-based and makes one wonder about the legitimacy of feelings, which part is feminine and which is manly—what kind of testimony or proof feelings are of anything? Authenticity, emphathetic, approacable, all positive characteristics, human and not a robot. So far, feelings haven’t provided evidence unless they are very extreme, or they simply haven’t mattered—at least mine haven’t. Feelings are belittled; they don’t count, I have learned. Something has changed and we are all in public therapy where recognizing, understanding and showing of feelings is essential. Are there people whose feelings matter more? Of course there are. They are very sensitive.
Thinking about how much shame a female body carries or holds, and must endure to this day. Femininity has been seen as a sign of a slut—and still is for many—so the idea of “feeling like a woman” confuses me: what does it actually feel like? So many people have thought about and discussed what a woman is, and many point to femininity—body parts that must be present, shaped and sized in certain ways. Is that the feeling: round, soft, penetrable, fleshy, with fat in the “right” places? A dress and heels? Hmm, that sounds like a fetish.
There is a plethora of videos on YouTube about how trans people and others undergo a lot of plastic surgery—one procedure after another—to become “perfect dolls.” Often, the desire is to look artificial. But there is a limit to how much the body can endure before things go really wrong: the nose can develop necrosis, silicone can leak, fat can travel into veins, implants leak and move etc. It becomes a horror show and to go big with lips, breasts and behind is a yearning. Some doctors refuse to perform BBLs, but astonishingly, there are plenty of doctors who will operate on every whim a client has, desires, is obsessed with. Obsessed and excited are the hype words that tell of this time: feelings are there, not reason, a constant craving and filling of it. Looksmaxxing https://youtu.be/3YvWfJGb2Qc?is=0hhXvWo5JiC9qr38
The human desire to go as far as one possibly can is something that unites the sexes. Our dreams of being a perfect human—the best of all—and letting everybody see. Is it ambition, innovation, or greed? An easy way is to be able to buy the assumed perfection, image to match. What is the sexed feeling there? Sex that is a feeling. It has been long the thought that women are more emotional. It could be that we are allowed to show feelings more openly. Once one goes for the artificial look and endures a lot of pain and maybe fear, people’s judgments and looks, that bring pleasure, so the process is worth something like a lot of attention, feelings of success or failure happen and the need to do more as perfection doesn’t exist, there is a talking doll to look at. She is happy or sad, which makes a great reality show, all the things in a life that concentrate on looks and what it can bring. Everything. What it feels like, is what one wants, a kind of organized chaos. How I understand, the sentence ”feel like a woman” coming from man’s mouth, is about feeling and touching a woman, because even in science woman’s feelings, pain and fear, have been discarded to this day.
A call for authenticity is a desperate one, isn’t it? For anybody to stick out has been a risk. In attention economy it is monetized, extremes are therefore valued or is it just a large-scale freak show to see how far people go?
Minkälainen mieli keksii kieltää ikkunat, puhumisen, opiskelun, näkymisen ja tekemisen? Sadismin osa uskonnoissa on tietysti kiinnostava ja erityisesti nainen on se, jota täytyy rangaista loputtomasti ja estää tekemästä mitään muuta kuin, mihin naisen keho on tarkoitettu.
Sadismille annetaan lupa uskon avulla. Niin monimutkainen kuin naisen keho on ja kehontoiminnot ovat, on totta, että pelkästään synnytyksestä selviäminen ei ole itsestäänselvää. Keho on itsessään kivulias ja paljon jaksamista vaativa, jatkuvasti muuttuva ja tietoa vaativa. Olen yrittänyt päästä sisään sukupuolten väliseen väkivaltaiseen suhteeseen, ymmärtämättömyyteen, mikä nainen on, mikä kysymys on filosofisesti kiinnostava, mutta ehkä ihmisen tarve hallita on isompi asia ja se näkyy kaikkialla. Ihminen vie hyvin pitkälle sadistiset tarpeensa, jos sille ei ole esteitä, sukupuoleen katsomatta myös.
Mikä nainen on, kuka nainen on-kysymykset katoavat jonnekin peittävän kaavun alle. Sellaista ei tarvitse kysyä, kun roolijako on selvä eikä naisen tarvitse miettiä, mikä tai kuka hän on. Se sanellaan hänelle. Uskaltaisin väittää, sanelutaktiikka on mielellään käytössä, kun nainen uskaltaa sanoa mielipiteensä sukupuolesta ja onko sukupuoli ilmoitusasia, kun nainen uskaltaa.
To be comfortable in your body is an idea where one’s humanness doesn’t give you any sensations of the negative, you just live in bliss of happiness and glide, which sounds really odd as a woman and I have had hard time believing in this nonsense. As a person who has daily highs and lows of anxiety (which I suppose everybody has) and feeling ok occasionally, I have had to learn how to live with a very active emotional life. Explosive temper since childhood for a girl is not celebrated, there is something wrong with you, you are evil and what not, crazy. I have heard I am very zen usually by people who don’t know me, which I have aimed to be on the outside (not to disturb anybody’s peace other than in art), it is not even difficult for me, but I do get angry, which is not allowed for women especially and showing anger, dear Lord, don’t break anything. People can’t tolerate other people’s anxieties not their own and I suppose they should not be this level concerned constantly of anxieties and comfort. Neither can they tolerate a very quiet person, which has made me think, what of others do we not see and think it is not there and how much noise is essential to feel comfortable, although you can’t take it when someone shows anger or just says against your opinion? People are also tested how long does it take to lose temper, well test away. Zen is fun. People get anxiety today when they are still a long time, are isolated for weeks and can’t travel. How human it is to be able to be constantly comfortable is very aristocratic idea, people demand differently today than before? We are used to luxury in comparison to life hundred years ago. (or are they constipated today, but looking fine.) Think about stomach pain and diarrhea or sleeplessness. We medicate everything away and invisible. This goes out for people too who are unpleasant in any way making people feel uncomfortable. Now we should pay attention. The negative is there to make us think and notice, and we think about our own bodies and comfort constantly and nothing is never good enough. The negative like pain, shame, hunger (which we should be feeling more), fear, feeling inadequate, fear of losing etc. do have reasons to exist. Aging, bodily changes and disturbing bulges truly are brushed away as much as possible. How about our weaknesses like narcissism?
How do we make progress in comfort and luxury? I have started to think, we don’t. To make progress we need criticism, push back, hardship, conversation and debate, visible effort and work that one can feel one has done something oneself and made it. This is especially important for women who have been told we may not, can not, should not, must not, definitely not. We are going backwards in many ways, criticism being one part of culture that is dullen down and silenced, violently. Die terf is a common enough phrase online and on the streets. Women’s rights being one issue, education another under serious threat and the speed of degeneration is fast. Firing professors who say biology is biology and sex is a biological fact is against science. Erasing the word woman and thinking surgery fixes men into women and they are real women, is what all should accept just like that, is itself a very totalitarian command and childlike tantrums make everybody scared for their jobs. Talking about safe spaces when women aren’t safe to say true things about their own biology is bizarre to the max. The whole idea is absurd and offensive to women, which is a non-issue today like adulthood seems to be. Women’s feelings and safety do not count when men need to be called real women and how many men there are who defend this? It is ominous, the vulnerable men. Speaking out against lunacy and clear mislabelling, is according to activists, violence against a vulnerable part of population. Vulnerability is one, protecting childish needs is something we need to be doing? Wanting doesn’t get, someone used to say. One cause to all of this is plastic surgery and how it is available around the world. Reality TV giving instructions on how to look and behave and bank on all of this. Our decline is evident. I am glad there are voices who speak against the antifeminist movement of self-ID. People have been identifying as whatever before but they haven’t been taken this seriously before, so seriously that working people get hurt. To be good at heart means you are concerned what happens in the world and for people. This is not a good development.
Comments strange to be commented by people about my weight who themselves are fat strange to be commented by people who themselves do not know how to dress well, they just think they do or is it just expensive? strange to be commented by people who have an alcohol problem about addictions and behaviour of others strange to be commented by people who clearly are not well in the head but think they are. To think you are well when you are not and you go on hating other people for it. strange to be commented by people who have issues, the same people are pointing out issues of others like they were any concern of theirs and they have the same issues? strange to be commented by people who don’t know what they are talking about but still talk strange to be commented by people who do not know you or better yet have never met you, they heard about you strange to be commented by people who think they are superior when they in many ways are not, they are superior because of they have never fallen down on a wet grass? Strange is to care about any of this and
Älä pelkää/Don’t be afraid, photocut on wall, 2012
The experience of growing up as a girl is important in becoming a woman, it’s defining. Not only the body parts that you’ll have tell of sex, but female is not a feeling nor an idea that can be artificially built. To have a vagina is not the only thing to have to be female, if it was so simple as operating the outer sexual organs you to change your sex, we’d be very simple organisms indeed and simplicity and functionality is what we as modern humans aim at. We do look at others as appearances and make judgments based on what we see. But we are simple even the thought of it is repulsive. We are very complex (never forget) and that complexity makes us human and beautifully unique on this planet. This is one reason I defend women’s right to be called women not menstruators or bleeders or what other horrid names men have invented to wipe women’s rights and our significance as humans, creators and caretakers out. Mother is much more than just a birthing person. To simplify a person via the act of giving birth, what is that? What motivation there is to simplify a person? They are never good. That is a tale from dystopian world where women are birthing people and that is their sole purpose. What happens via and in women’s bodies is via this new speech making women instrumental, like technicality talk and women should accept it. It is pure objectification as is all plastic surgery and imitation of women, ultra femininity as it is called at its most extremist, a fetish making the doll woman an ideal and call her beautiful is what she wants to hear.
To silence women for speaking out against this nonsense and body fascism, I don’t find it any different from chauvinism, traditionalism and misogyny. It is regressive and abusive. Boycotting women who defend girls’ and women’s rights is the same old and to have this forced upon is to belittle our voices, bodies and minds. Our need for our spaces, safety, our reasoning to be heard and our experiences as more than just bodies are important, they are fought rights and must be protected because they are not self-evident. To be a woman is not celebrated by terms such as cervix-havers and chest-feeders,breast-feeders, it is humiliating to hear females become their body parts only. It is resentful and ugly to even have this kind of fight in contemporary world. Mind you freedom of speech and opinion. I don’t accept delusions for facts and forcing this new ’education’ on all of us isn’t freedom. It is infantile and vengeful.
As I have experienced it, to be a girl is very different than being a boy. Boys did more exciting things and at some point I was not allowed to participate anymore as I aged out growing breasts and stuff. Boys and girls bully each other which is normal, girls are also sexually harassed by adults. The differences between sexes exist to large extent and massively so, that to minimize it, is foolish and untruthful, like white working class girls’ experiences can be more violent and abusive still in today’s world and nobody notices. Something easily accessible and to discard. When you have no money, you do not have power. Girls are cruel against other girls too. I suppose it is a way of competition and something go through. To be different is the worst thing, but what can you do, adapt or perish? Neither is an option. A girl must be very careful and learn it, it is a tightrope on which a girl learns to balance. One has to learn that you can be groped in broad daylight in the middle of a school yard and that is fun for boys, they do it in groups. They continue this to adulthood and think women don’t know. Some don’t. Grouping is important for most humans, see tribalism. To me it is a sign of weakness, but a group is powerful even (especially) in stupidity. That you can be stalked, you will be checked up as long as you look alright for males by the appearance, pedigree, inheritance, that is all that matters, how you can benefit them. You will be measured by your looks always, that never ends. Your intelligence is under constant scrutiny. It is a way to use power over you, that never ends. Testing you never ends. So how does a girl become empowered? For me the number one thing has been education, the only thing since looks is not that interesting to me in a person, for others it is probably the most interesting thing, as a girl I was shook by this: I am my body and that should empower me. To be beautiful is everything and nothing. So what is me? Who is this person and what is she to become?
Like today you are your body and that is it, it is your measure, it is a message. You become you when you can fix things that bother you in your body. Why things bother people is because of other people. Everything in your body is noticed, cellulite, fat, wrinkles, legs, hips, ass, thighs, lips, hair, neck, skin, breasts, smells, calves, nose and body hair. You can disturb all this by doing the opposite. Freak people out, it is easy for a girl. We should follow instructions and when we don’t we stick out.
As a girl I was more scared and timid, also I was looked at in a different kind of way like I had less potential and I was less important. I guess I had that scared look on my face which made it even worse, me an easy target. So, don’t be scared or don’t show it. We are still animals. And learn to question everything, especially the authority. They don’t like, it is reason enough. To be liked is not a sufficient aim in life. When they find out your potential, the reactions can be primitive. Equality talk is often just that, talk.
Finding potential where there isn’t any, yeah it’s a dead-end, as is pleasing everyone .
This is a test. This is a wound and how it was made. The unhealing of open flesh. How everything happens, everything – saying out loud is tiring, the all and what we know about it what is around us and why it happens as it does. Not a break, not a sigh or time to rest, but observe and know more and think how one changes and absorbs. There is no time to stop. This is to understand what I know or think I know, what there is to know.
About microchip. Varietās Ingeniosus, paradigm of varietas, variety. Where is it? What about it? Where do we have them and why? What kind of information does it entail and collect? Who knows about microchips and what they do? I have heard about it. How can it be used against us? Is it so that it can be hacked? And what does that mean especially for consumers, equipment owners, in the means of privacy. Is there privacy anymore? How are we monitored? Spied, looked at, laughed at, called slaves, zombies, what else, whores. Who is the hacker and what are the reasons to hack?
”By definition the integrated circuit aka microchip is a set of interconnected electronic components such as transistors and resistors, that are etched or imprinted on onto a tiny chip of a semiconducting material, such as silicon or germanium.” http://inventors.about.com/od/computersandinternet/a/microchip.htm
”Microchips, also known as integrated circuits, are the little pieces of semi-conductive material that make most of your information-storing electronics tick. Without them, the computer would not have gone past the level of being a simple calculator. Microchips have made it possible to turn electricity into information. The large amount of transistors contained inside them signal ”on” and ”off” states which can represent a zero or a one in binary language. Integrated circuits in microchips can be structured in a way that can make a computer not only store information but process it. Microprocessors are microchips that allow computers to ”think.” They are basically small chips that execute commands and perform actions based on the input that is given.”
”The microchip might be the single most important invention of the twentieth century. Ironically, it took a relatively young scientist who could not take time off work to perfect the microchip in his downtime. The applications of the microchip are almost too many to name, and suffice it to say, the current world cannot function without it. According to ASME, microchips will only get smaller and powerful. In addition to increased processing power for software applications, computer chips will eventually also have ”artificial intelligence,” responding to touch and even holding conversations. The National Academy of Engineering believes that microchips will be small enough to install in humans to monitor health. The development of the microchip has led to losses and gains. Transport and communication costs have fallen and the financial services sector has prospered, but farming has suffered. Overall, however, employment has increased.”
”The year 2000 problem known as the Y2K problem and the millennium bug was the most important thing on most companies minds in 1999. Critical industries (such as electricity or financial) and government functions could stop working at 12:00 AM, January 1, 2000. This fear was fueled by the press coverage and other media speculation, as well as corporate and government reports. All over the world companies and organizations checked and upgraded their computer systems.” http://www.thepeoplehistory.com/electronics.html
and Why
1. The Transistor ( The creation of the transistor provided a tool using the power of electricity to make an ON/ OFF Digital Switch , which is the basis for nearly every advance we use today.)
The use, to use, utilize, make things happen, what things? Mobilize us, make our lives faster, things in our lives to happen rapidly, information to pass forward, to let know. Knowledge and how far we drift from it. What is important to know, what we need to know and want to know. There are people who don’t want to hear about the bad in life, let’s concentrate on the happy things and have a cup of coffee. The easiness of not knowing. To turn one’s back to the pile of thrash. I haven’t seen the struggling and pain, it does not exist in my world. Is that how it goes or is it a different kind of struggling and pain. How do you suffer? How to measure the amount of one individual pain? What creates pain? Is it the shame of not knowing? The opposite of pleasure. How much pain can a person take, like when tortured? Sure, ache is different with different reasons. Some take more than others. What causes ache in people’s lives? Why is life so full of pain caused by hurt suckers and motherfuckers? To kill, to murder, we want to see murder. We want to see suffering to ease our own hurt. To see fear on someone’s face and laugh at it. I’m glad it was not me. To that person who is afraid. Why is causing pain like a machine? What is the machinery in us that ticks. So far it is not by corporations. It is machine-like activity that is fairly easy to guess. How certain kind of people think and act, in which social level, with whom are you seen with. The rules and hierarchies moving people and their mind tick like clocks. One cannot make a mistake once you know the patterns how. It is dangerous to see through. Unavoidable, unescapable quality of human life, suffering and how people survive and learn. If you suffer you must make the other suffer too. Could you learn away from that feeling and need to revenge? To let know how one feels inside. A circle that never stops. Revenge, ignorance, selfishness make people function and create hate, war, famine, death and poverty. It is to blame human nature and it cannot be changed, shit happens? That is how it looks.
But, there is good in people, I still believe..so why the destruction? That would be a true revolution for people to thoroughly understand how to treat each other in a respectful way. What ways cause happiness and which means hurt? To learn that and unlearn the negative, or learn from it. Why hurt? What is the meaning of hurt in human life as a basic tool? For who is it meaningful and how? Pain, suffering, killing, violence are used to subject, slave, oppress, to dominate, rule, deliberately cause violence and death. Hurt to live, to feel superior, to have power, to feel big, is it a matter of size, dominance, to own, to have, to have something to say, to prove one’s worth. What kind of person uses violence to make a point? It is seen as a male quality, but women are as violent, the ways to be violent may differ. People are a creative species. I am repeating myself. I don’t care.Varietās Ingeniosus, paradigm of varietas, variety. How not to make this complexity only two-dimensional or one-sided, flat object to discard from the car window to vanish by roadside. Let the multiplicity multiply and flourish. Could you. But it is like a jungle out here. Freaking scary! So sick, to live and perish, vanish without a trace to space. Or to leave garbage behind and drive away.
Not completely other matter is to penetrate someone. It was seen by some radical hard-core badass feminists as a violent act, as rape. So, to enjoy sex is an impossibility by this idea. Fanatic approach can get bit too much, too far-fetched. Or how should sex be like then? Caresses, kisses, sighs, arrayed on a continuum from liberal to radical. Liberal views tend to regard rape as a gender-neutral assault on individual autonomy, likening it to other forms of assault and/or illegitimate appropriation, and focusing primarily on the harm that rape does to individual victims (what?). More radical views, in contrast, contend that rape must be recognized and understood as an important pillar of patriarchy. Johnson defines patriarchy as a social system in which men disproportionately occupy positions of power and authority, central norms and values are associated with manhood and masculinity (which in turn are defined in terms of dominance and control), and men are the primary focus of attention in most cultural spaces (2005, 4-15). Radical feminists see rape as arising from patriarchal constructions of gender and sexuality within the context of broader systems of male power, and emphasize the harm that rape does to women as a group.
In addition, radical feminist approaches to rape often share one or more of the following three features. First, they regard the deprivation of women’s bodily sovereignty―in particular, male control over the sexual and reproductive uses of women’s bodies―as a central defining element of patriarchy (Whisnant 2007). As a result, they analyze rape as one of multiple forms of men’s sexual violence and exploitation, looking at their interconnections and how they work in concert to maintain and reinforce women’s oppression. Second, they expand the definition of ‘rape’ to encompass more than just overt physical force and violence (or the explicit threat thereof). Recognizing the ways in which broad patterns of male power systematically compromise women’s bodily and sexual freedom, and challenging the equation of female submission with meaningful consent, they tend to see a kind of continuum (rather than a bright dividing line) between rape and much “normal” heterosexual activity. Third, the focus on group-based oppression has also led many radical feminist thinkers to examine the role of rape itself, and of ideologies about rape, in creating and reproducing not only patriarchy but multiple systems of domination, including racism and colonialism.” http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/feminism-rape/
Ideologies of rape? People being raped to state a position, to show superiority, to state superiority. Power over someone requires penetration, abuse. Shows ability. What kind of ability is that? How able are we in destruction, capable of fucking off and lolling. How radical should Feminism get? As radical as is needed to make a change, because at the moment our way of life is merely intolerable abuse of nature and people. And will Feminism change anything? It already has changed a great
tenderness, wheel ok. I guess it would satisfy. ”
”
Feminist views of rape can be understood as
deal. Women who have taken extreme measures have done something good for the mankind. For the kind man and the unkind. As women being the inferior sex Feminism has a lot of potential. It is a state of war. Unfortunately. Feminists do it in non-violent ways. Yes, the stereotyped picture of a Feminist may hurt the cause of feminism for a little while. Burdens are elsewhere, not on Feminist shoulders, because we are free of fear, Unlike many others. activism cannot stay unchanged or care what will happen to me if I do this. The dividing factors between sexes and how they are made and why, men versus women, poor vs. rich, black and white, which doesn’t make it easy to promote the cause. Stereotypes are built strongly in the structures of our minds, traditions, ways of life, sexes and societies.
As men can be Feminists, if they choose to, will they? It seems unlikely. Would it be too much for a macho to accept an ideology with Femi- in it? To stand for ideas held by feminism, those strange feminists. There is something scary about them. You bet. Mostly people should be extremely scared of themselves. Can men accept female in them? What kind of revolution would that be? That is a different world all together. The overwhelming masculinity has taken over, we have chosen to perish. continuity is what people seek for on the level of cells, jobs, economy, DNA and I wanna see my kids grow. Thinking you are perfection and want your children to follow your ideals as healthy and sane individuals, adults, avoiding shaming your name. To continue name, family, honour, ownership, integrity, what else..stories, family heritage and photographs. That is all good. It is something that has a brought tons of weight in my life for many different reasons and now I refuse to take it. And no it has not been very enjoyable here so far. To have a good life, be a good wife. I don’t think so. Gigantic load of tradition given by one’s family (if one wants to take it), not to mention one’s genetics. Bah Hah! What is this thing called Humanity? To be me, and them, and to those who were. We’ll see. Or better yet, it is in front of us already, the mountain of filth.
This is a test. This is a wound and how it was made. The unhealing of open flesh. How everything happens, everything – saying out loud is tiring, the all and what we know about it what is around us and why it happens as it does. Not a break, not a sigh or time to rest, but observe and know more and think how one changes and absorbs. There is no time to stop. This is to understand what I know or think I know, what there is to know.
This is calculating the possibilities of survival during and after. Probability of survival estimated is like planning a trip to. Asking stupid questions, questioning stupidity, which is thinking of knowing but still not knowing much. I’m trying to comprehend like everybody else the goals of the Western world as a Westerner and female. Western heritage is about knowing the truth, what is right, being on the side of facts and what is good. It is the heritage of Christianity and science, history of conquerors and winners. To rule as a white male, a meat-eating hero, the conqueror who thinks that rabbits eat vegetables, well they do. Is it to say you are better than the rabbits, because it doesn’t show. How you evolve tells how good you are, not what you think you should be and stay that way thinking this is the best there is. Do I have the same goals, the same direction as everybody else? Which strange goal I’m part of, where does it go and what is it, this goal of ours, this conqueror we still desire to be, where do we want to go, this set of systems we have created. I am a living system in this set of systems, we are bunch of systems systematically and without a clue trying to calculate the ways to manage, but not knowing, shooting in the dark. Systems that aren’t serving humanity and nature, but destroying them but still making something totally new. Is it possible to get rid of systems that we have created and build new ones? Dependency on money, vehicles, machines, electricity, food supply, media is shrinking our minds. Could we live without this regime or some of them? It is a question of what we want life to be. How we want to live it. Fast, hedonist, proud, ambitious, do we have to give up everything of that wealth we have made to save ourselves and others. What do we essentially need? What are human needs?
To go, to move, to travel. What is the happening happening. What is up? What is up there? What is down here? What is the ultimate want? What is the desire, lust, need, yearning. There is something. There is something here, but what, I touch the back of my hand. The reality. It is flesh. It is the skin. How to make it work? It works by itself, I don’t have to think about it, unless there is a malfunction. There is something disturbing about the normal routine of daily function. There is a way I don’t like, I don’t want, the destruction and hurt. Hunger and poverty. I oppose. It hurts my vulnerability. It hurts my sense of justice. How vulnerable am I? Very. I would not survive without water. Do I survive without love? Yes, but it makes you see things in a strange light. There is something truthful and honest in total lack of love. For me it has been the image of man for which I have no trust whatsoever. It is a sad picture. Horrid in its plain abandonment, contempt and narcissism. How do I make myself vulnerable? How much more vulnerable can one be as I am? I can be easily destroyed and I don’t doubt one bit the abilities of people to just do that. It is what they do best. How much am I willing to do and sacrifice for others? Getting the satisfaction and knowledge, I have tried to make things better, not just talked about it. How much is good to be sensitive, open to be hurt. Who wants to hurt and why? To hurt so that I bleed. What really is to get hurt? Is it guilt, shame in front of everybody? Is it being born unwanted? Is it being sold to prostitution, gang raped, killed, mutilated, destroyed as a worthless cunt. Yes that resonates with pain and that pain is justified because women are dirty, evil, subhuman, beneath capable and worthy, that pain is justified, unfelt.
I’m lucky in many ways, I have an obligation to make a change, to work for the change, because I’m sick of the news. That is a reason to live, to make the future look brighter. And how will that happen? What can I do? That is a Billion Dollar question. Or well, these questions are free of charge. My feelings at the moment, loath, disgust, anger and raged in front of massacres and pain unimaginable.
What is it like to have a vagina? How much is it worth? It is obviously question of worth and penetration. How much does a cunt cost? What kind of question is that? I think it is quite a normal routine thing to go through, no? The value of one’s genitals, what do you do with them, what does it do to you, how your genitals are you. What is vagina like? Is there a model vagina because they are all different? There is this porno-industry cunt that has become fashionable as women and young girls have an operation to change their healthy, normal flower-like genitalia into hairless porno star vaginas. A plastic surgeon removes part of vagina to make it look better for men to see, aesthetic. It is not known if this operation takes also the female pleasure away, but who cares about female pleasure. Is it ok to talk about genitals, right? Isn’t it the most wanted possession, a virgin vagina, not penetrated, untouched, tight and pure. There are millions of girls that are unwanted because of their sex or wanted only as one thing, for one thing. They are unworthy and put to work at a very young age, or parents don’t want girls, girls are a burden, they abort the fetus. Woman is a commodity as a sex tool. This has Nothing to do with simplicity though it may seem so. Simplicity is not human quality, we are very complex. Filled with complexes, but we want to simplify things and life since it is easier to be the man in a simplified world. But it does not suit me. I don’t want to live in such a world.
It is a way to survive in a male dominated world, where lack of sex seems to be an issue, to sell sex is therefore very logical. Lack of a hole to penetrate, to invade, to intrude, to have for pleasure. Blind sexual desire needs to be filled, satisfied like hunger, it is a basic need. After multiple orgasms, myriad pleasure, when woman is used, wasted, won, put to shame, the partner, the cunt owning man is the conqueror, conceiver, operator, maker.
The one who was penetrated is nothing but the bearer of quilt. Objectified, killed as a person, a slave, animal, garbage. There are others, better ones. Go and get them. They are willing, always, because they have to make it. How To understand the depth of contempt against femininity, women, vagina and women’s rights. It is difficult, because it is also in women. The Hate against women is so visible, how can’t you see it or do anything about it. Women have contempt against each other. They are rivals, envy keeps us going and it establishes our social hierarchies to winners and losers, if you like such games. Women diminish themselves so easily, like it is a place made for them, us, me and it looks as if could not be changed. That is because we are under a threat. Loath against women has a long history that continues still, history of rape, being owned by men and being measured as a commodity to be sold and used. We are selling ourselves cheap. What is a cunt worth? I am not worthy as a human being, is the message. This has been the message since I was a child and it had something to do with my sex. I know this sounds appalling and untrue, in a modern country like Finland. We are not as equal and free as we think we are. How to be free? What is freedom?
To be a woman is an obstacle, woman does things wrong in a womanly manner. There is something wrong. Womanly manner is slow, soft, maybe insecure, what is said is softened by laughter. Looking for acceptance, protection and safety. Women seen through what they do wrong, how they are wrong, how they should be, and what happens to women who are not the way they should be. This goes for men too, but especially women are targeted, looked at, a body, hair, breasts, ass and vagina, clothes. Shaming, calling names, disrespectful behavior, which starts from early age, which is learned: How to be a woman. What is a woman? One learns the ways of sex from early age, learns to belong to a sex and its codes. Women have long hair, it is feminine. Boys don’t play with dolls. These were some of the gender rules that were told without hesitation. That’s how it is. When I was young. Women like pink, pink fantasies, fairies. Everything in life goes around sex, the dos and don’ts. We are very strictly regulated, even if we think we are not. We begin to censor ourselves and each other, censor what is said, done, written, acted, behaved, worn, studied, lived, read, watched. The test is how one manages in this kind of life, in systematic ruling run by capitalistic/neoliberal playing played by us as sexes.
Majakollektiivi Timanttimetsä 