ugly child

How leftist are those in the academia or in the arts?

| Henna Timanttimetsä

My question rises from the strange continuous experience of hearing there are leftist professors who practice leftist ideology in universities and leftist theories are taught more than the conservative ones and that leftist politics is in use in universities. My experience does not back this claim: when system favours conservative mannerisms and silence, I am too radical and annoying, leftism is a lovely flower to look at, if you know what I mean. Marx obviously being one of the most interesting theorists there is what comes to labour rights, so it is only just and right that his theories are known to avoid situation which is present today, where him and his thinking is painted completely malaise, destructive, false and inaccurate. Propaganda is hurtful, disinformation, not trying to understand how better the living and working conditions of the working class. It is more than understandable to learn to know how theory has affected our culture and thinking especially through economics, which is fascinating. How the division is made between the two, left and right, often seems to happen by what and whom is assumed is leftist and heard to be leftist or thinks is leftist. What comes to being conservative, do your clothes tell as it is often times assumed by clothing to which camp you belong?

Art is thought to be occupied by leftists and feminists who look forward, are experimental, openminded and are open to ideas and new people, which strikes me as I should be popular in such an environment. I argue and question too much to be likeable and that is something to me which is characteristic to being politically and intellectually aware and functioning. Such questioning types are met with anger and critique is rendered as annoying complaining. To not question the education system in use, methods, theories etc. is not leftist, it is accepting the current situation of higher education, protecting careers and positions, which to me seemed to be more important than the quality of education provided. It is difficult to be the person who doesn’t go with the flow and like everything, put one’s own financial interests first as is common in the arts and think of people: what a good contact or whom to avoid. All these accusations of leftism ring odd as there is a true and wide gap there between the working class and the middle class and as all know it is still today not that common for someone from working  class to enter university or the arts. My family still has hard time accepting my profession which to them is not a profession: how do you make money, your art is not art etc. There is a huge difference between the working class people and people from the middle class and for people not to think it is odd is odd and someone with working class background such as me, I am odd everywhere, because what is art and there are lot of people who have never met an artist and don’t even want to. This goes on and on. What has middle class contributed to leftism other than theory? Sympathy for the cleaning ladies and welders? That’s funny.

When I go to the environment where I as an artist am supposed to work at, it is not news I do not feel comfortable, welcomed, fit in etc. It is a strange situation and place, which conflict has led me do art that critiques the places of art, education of art, profession of the artist and I write about the paradoxes and clear flaws, intellectual and structural, there are in this field. Situation is stagnant and people like to follow the good old routes to success. Kissing ass? All the beautiful talks and looking like leftists, I am sure you are a very likeable person and will get lots of opportunities…why the working class people avoid and have disinterest towards contemporary art and distrust towards people with higher education? How many working class people do you know Mrs./Mister leftist professor and what are your leftist thoughts on how higher education could be valuable in other ways than just landing a high paying job? What I have witnessed is a mutual contempt and ignorance. For example telling what kind of professions I have done for a living, it is as if I had fell from outer space, poor you, or why don’t you apply for grants. Grants being, taught in university, the number one source of income for an artist, which also sounds very middle class. Are you sure it is good for the art and where does the money come from, who supports the arts the most? How to monetise art has not been ever an issue at any art school only in passing, maybe that is the leftist angle. It is a difficult thing to do, monetise one’s art, when most of the energy goes to realising newly invented ideas that hang in the air and mean nothing to anybody and to me they mean everything. How to monetise something that is your all? It takes character.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Almond delight

Image | | Henna Timanttimetsä

Converge diverge converge diverge

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Mum and child from Finland, 2017

What is ugly?

| Henna Timanttimetsä
In art it is something to pursue and master but to be beautiful is too much, so beauty can be too much and a flaw, to make beautiful objects to sell, things to seduce, have seductive visuals around is to make value (what is seductive? Is it about vanity?), to match people and their spaces, their ideals of what is good and what they are themselves. Art must equal learned beauty standards, standards of the aesthetic or it is ugly and rejected as unappealing. One is left to wonder aesthetics of ours, how it needs to be cultivated and the value of beauty in our culture, whether it exists at all (what kind of beauty) and especially beauty in females, for females or is it for males. What is seen in an instant is more important than what does the sight say in-depth. If art has any value, value is the aesthetics, in the matching not disagreeing, arguing and making one think something else than fitting in. To think why something strikes as beautiful and something as ugly and why we think art should follow basic visual tender spots to be liked. Same goes with people. We have strong views on what we like to see in women and in men on the outside.
This strangely stuck thought follows idea many have about what art should be and also how people are perceived, what beauty is in people and in art, meaning of beauty for us, cost of beauty and effort we see to be beautiful by standards we are set to follow. How beautiful all of this is should be argued by those who are lured by beauty. It is agreeable, standardised, manufactured and known instantly, admired, imitated and wondered, but still to beauty one can do whatever. It is fragile and a threat. It is something to exploit, banish and be destroyed out of a whim and just because it shuns and shadows beauty in you maybe. Beauty is under someone else’s power though it is a possession and to be fucked. It is not power but it is seen powerful. It appeals to our need to feel good, be liked and surrounded by attention beauty must give. Beauty has a way of making instant feeling of good.

 

Interest in the mouth (or what is said)

| Henna Timanttimetsä

A poem for monsters. How much is in you to give? A test.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Can you love an ugly child? Fat, tiny, whiny and useless, suddenly appearing into your life. Is it organic or manufactured, artificial or natural?
Can you love an ugly child who looks like trouble growing with hunger and thirst, who does not belong here or anywhere but needs a place to stay? Whose whole being yells how out of place she is even though she is quietly looking at you.
Can you give affection to a little beast who is an image of you? Maybe forgotten and hidden. Who reminds you of your weaknesses, your desires which you cannot attend to and fulfil because of that visible existence of someone new, an invader, an intruder grabbing you from your gut. Sounds like a leach.
Can you put priorities of your own aside and love someone with two heads and a heart that pounds noise in which nobody can sleep, unconditionally, without saying you owe me?
Screaming, needy and pathetic, noisier and messier. Heads following sudden ideas, not obeying anything said. Someone with three legs, several hands and wide open mouths nonstop.
Can you love an ugly child that needs to be loved more than you could ever imagine, loved more than you love yourself?
Put all your warmth on that tiny body that breaks everything just to try out what happens? How much warmth do you have to spare and what changes?

Why whistle? Why not.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Culture of shame rules with humiliation and fear. Too hard to handle.

| Henna Timanttimetsä
Girl who learns from early on that there is something wrong and it is with her because there is shame she cannot quite understand why or what but it is like an animal which is her and the ultimate evil and is because of her not knowing quite why. Any other person is above this shame and constant wrongdoing because they are bigger. It is something she did which was being born, her sex which she must be ashamed of, she feels constantly a look which is angry, looks upon her that are looking at nothing, hate in the look, in those looks, contempt and disgust or something to take away, burn and run. Shame which exists only because of her, her sin, her existence, her rottenness is brought by her upon others to be ashamed of and talk about to purify those who speak of her and look at her but don’t see anything but dirt, something to turn backs to. She becomes to feel guilty for what she is completely, that she has caused such horrible thing as she is, her becoming, anything she represents and is, is bad and all wrong, a mistake and accident. She has to hide herself. Best way to do it is to be silent, be as invisible as possible, as quiet as possible afraid that she will be revealed and hated again and again. The only one who does things wrong breaking the silence which cannot be broken because everything and the wall of silence and effort seen would be ruined. You must not cry or be sad, it would break the unspoken, it would tell how all is wrong. To be revealed is the worst thing to happen. To face the ill there is would be too much to take and shameful as is crying. Things that are wrong, emotions that should just be likable not to annoy and reveal anything that might be wrong, she does them things wrong anyway so why try anything but not to push that wall of shame and weeping. She is the wrong, she is the wrong, the out-of-place to be ashamed of who can break and destroy the comfortable silence and not having to face any negative emotions there are. There is nothing wrong with the environment but with her still. Easiness of finding a scapegoat and squeeze her into being as small as possible. All the blame there is is placed on her and she carries it all until it is too much. It is quite a burden to carry and to give, be pushed aside and forgotten until guilt finds you until you cannot hide.

 

What we hear is true? What are we seeing?

| Henna Timanttimetsä
evil eye, curious eye, lazy eye, blind eye
 
You can look at the evidence and still not believe because of your bias and what you have heard from a reliable source? What we learn to believe true may also affect, who do we think is reliable and why do we think so. To think for yourself is much advised, always reconsider, always look for a second opinion, maybe even third.