feminism

Ideology of tough love is to live a lie because truth and compassion are too demanding.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

It is when people leave you, usually you are left alone to manage by yourself because you shouldn’t burden anyone with your issues. Life is a Teflon pan where things get fried without sticking. Idea is that human being must have strength in such amounts that force within will carry you on in life despite what happens to you. This tough love when it comes across at home, in school, in relationships and at work over and over again begins to make an interesting image of people and what life is supposed to be, how someone is valued and someone is not. It is an ideology of no comfort and no other than self-interest is that matters. You get ripped off and what you get is a matter of chance. Ideology where one person is a power plant which has enough power to keep oneself going on one’s own despite what happens to you. You just get up and feel great and thankful for each day. Personal matters are matters of yours only, not even parents should be concerned or be interested in what happens to a person really. Who is anyone really? It is because they are themselves in such a mess they are not able to handle inner life problematic as they see their children extensions of themselves but they can talk of their child to other people as their child is someone else they barely know if at all, as weird as it is and sounds. Most important is the front page is spotless and all is well, you say hello to your buddies and keep your lawn in good shape for it not to bother anyone looking that might tell there is something wrong. When compassion and empathy are this much scarce it is a matter of emergency and matter of asking what the fuck is going on and what is life suppose to be exactly? Suppose to be can be a wrong question entirely because who expects life to be something exact? Obviously quite many.

To talk about feelings is very hard, it can be intolerable. In psychotherapy it is the most important area to discuss, recognize and understand within oneself. It is seen as too simple and ridiculous but it is essential. We are highly emotional. Too little is put emphasis on the issue of emotions and too much paid attention to emotions of women which they cannot battle and win making wrong kinds of judgments based on prejudiced ideas that women are emotional therefore weak and men are not.

Misconceptions on what love is, how it is given and shown, confusion between concepts of hate and love, confusion all together of how to feel, talk about feelings since we all have them but we somehow must act we do not, and how feelings make us react or should make react. Too little thoughts on why feelings are such strong motivators in our actions and why many mix violence with love, justify violence with love and being hurt in love, mix love with ownership. There seems to be true confusion in what love is and when we hate, when we are acting in hateful manner is when we protect something mostly ourselves from possibility of change. Same kind of problematic happen with ideas of intellect, beauty, good life and so on, foundations of life, what is wrong and right, what is good to anybody and what can we give to that stranger or our children.

I’m going to be sick!

| Henna Timanttimetsä
http://www.postandcourier.com/tilldeath/partone.html ”Couple this with deep-rooted beliefs about the sanctity of marriage and the place of women in the home, and the vows “till death do us part” take on a sinister tone.” 

 

Flowers on palm. If women are flowers on palm of hand, they are easily crushed.

Kuva | | Henna Timanttimetsä

People who hate women and say they don’t, what do they do?

| Henna Timanttimetsä
People who say women’s movement is futile and not needed anymore obviously do not know what they are talking about. We have achieved all for women and equal peaceful world? Women have all the opportunities men do? They are perceived as men are active, thinking making individuals? Is that right? It should be, but it is not. For some reason in my life such light has not been shining, light of trust in my capabilities. Misogyny and hate are as if they were normal parts of dealing with women and girls, dealing with those sub-beings whose heads hold who knows what. It is as simple as in daily encountering where the wave of suspicion and contempt flourish as it never went away. Sad.

Girl as a criminal: Girl who has will of her own.

| Henna Timanttimetsä
Is to break free from ideas what a girl can be and what she should feel. No, girls don’t have to have long hair, they don’t have to like Cinderellas and play princesses. They don’t have to be friends with girls only, they can play football, wrestle and play war. Girls can be seen as counterculture brutes who do not clean other people’s messes up, who can say no, who do not take care of children just because they are girls, especially they don’t look after brothers and sisters when parents go drinking. Girls go to school and dream of goals they will achieve, set themselves goals and achieve them because they want to. To be a princess for one day is not a goal. It is bullshit.
 
If this is criminal and scary, there is definitely change coming. 

What is in need of change in the end?

| Henna Timanttimetsä
Isn’t it a very groundbreaking question, what is there to be changed really in a world of constant tragedy and crisis. How do we evolve in this time of grief and do not torment those who will build the world in the future. Why for example girlhood is in constant crisis is that mostly the world is not for girls, girl is seen weak and girlhood something to grow away from. Girlhood is a crisis because the world around won’t let girls be cherished, won’t let girls think they are worthy and have potential of great amounts. This is crisis of girlhood which is made the crisis for girls, placed upon little shoulders and bodies, burdened with shame that should not be there, not their stigma not their crisis. Shame belongs to those who are grown-ups who own the shame planted in them by macho culture and society. There should be time right now to change this crisis which is intolerable, criminal and horribly wrong making girls think they are lacking something, unworthy as persons, incapable and stupid because of their gender. There is an enormous pressure for people to change something but not so much knowledge of what is in serious need of total change or maybe there is knowledge over what is wrong and a horrible scare that everything would change so dramatically if those changes were to applied fully, unquestionably, truly and humbly. People who are afraid of change and to change are the biggest threat, people who do not admit to their mistakes and think they are absolutely correct.
If you are people with God you let people learn their potential as people. I personally have zero appreciation for women who deny schooling and aims in life for girls and other women. Women who fight against other women are worth less than zero.

Logic is difficult to find therefore feeling of lost is a continuous emotional vacuum.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

To me there is no such thing as self-evident, everything or anything must be questioned. To question oneself can be state of unworthiness or it can be a very healthy road to explore oneself and grow as a person. Depends how one does the questioning, in what kind of position one places oneself. Few absolutes exist, yes, but what comes to people and their behavior there is always room for questioning and analysis. It is not a certainty that sun rises every morning. Maybe night just continues and there will be no light anymore. We are left in the dark and cold on a planet we think is for us. When it happens we scream and feel desperate. We are in shock over something that should have not happened. It is peculiar and odd to find out on daily basis how 100% sure most people are of their own absolute righteousness, that their arrogance is justified as they are perfectly doing what they are here to do, which often seems to be to have fun and mock. Dilemma for me in this perspective is how fun is defined and how blindly self is perceived, how things and people are not questioned but taken for granted, accepted or discarded. How what we are supposed to do and we do because we are supposed to do it get rarely seriously jeopardized by refusal and demanding for answers. To say no is boring, to withdraw is sick. It is far too easy and acceptable to belong to a group as a group of similar minded is secure and safe to be in. Are we ok in this group, is it the group where we belong to, do you do what your group expects you to do, or are you doing what you want to do?

It is much too obvious that be part is what we all want, that to be part of a monotonous group mimicking a cultural icon and way of life is what we should have and why shouldn’t we. Grouping is to leave something out, game of success and being popular is a norm as it is normal good seen as luxury, loud privileged ones owning the space do their all to get what they want. Egocentric self-adoration where is little room for anything else is also a norm. There is very little room for understanding and learning. If there is a lesson learning happens through accidents when something bad happens. (You didn’t mean it but you did it anyway) Something bad that was not supposed to happen because things are imagined to be under control in the light of the privileged and young as they own their luck and good fortune, their friends and their space. They cannot be questioned, they are not humble enough to think there would be anything wrong they do. Their privilege is their rebellion in a world of shit.

Condition of arrogance and negligence is seen as perfect way to live like there is no tomorrow and people take care of themselves, they work out and choose their clothing. What happens tomorrow, will anybody like me, be interested in me tomorrow? This insecurity is a big part of being a girl and being a woman in overly sexual world where male pleasure is what women are for. To like a woman is to like to look at her and have sex with her, present her to buddies. Most preferably men are to have many women, a line of women and woman to have sex with a line of men who take her. In a way those entities get trophies they need to be successful and looked up. Position of a star in a sea of flesh, abundance of meat is all you can eat and more. It is about greed, openly horny attitude finding ecstasy via indifference and danger. Only things that matter are appearance and wealth, holes and fillings, filling a vacuum which is there all the time. A silence that cannot be tolerated, a self that has to be molded to fit.

When we are scared to have authority over lives of our own and think for ourselves, we run down the cliff as it is fun in a group.

To become part of gender and sex-oriented society

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Sign is there between the legs, a message to people how child should be brought up. What would happen if it didn’t mean that much, that sex wouldn’t dictate how we are perceived and how we should be? Saying earlier that to be a girl is a full on crisis is exactly it, how to grow and adjust to the environment when to adjust is the most wrong thing there could be and do. Adjust and accept because one must. Firstly is the issue of where you live and what kind of atmosphere you are born to, what does your environment tell you, makes of you, lets you be, how you will end up knowing who you are and what will you be, what you should be and who to believe, what to be scared of and what life is worth, your life. To having accepted how to live when does the fun end if we are having fun in the first place.

To be an individual can be tricky. What does it even mean anymore. Young men and women on the video below which is an intro to the movie Spring Breakers 2012 by Harmoni Korine is truthful to reality of college students in the US. Both sexes are exercising roles that are heterosexual and oppressive, roles that are to be followed by students as fun but strict and fitting the idea of letting go and being young in a certain way. Equaling reckless behavior to fun where women are exposing themselves as willing pornographic wild sexual partners on beach with alcohol and drugs. Camera angles tell the story of where to look. Women line up in front of men to play blow jobs with open mouths in which men pour drinks from cans, cans posing penises. All happens on the beach, bright color swimsuits and ads, ecstatic faces and young people who want to go out of control and to be seen as such. Men are more of spectators and users of goods which women gladly offer since it is fun and there are many women instead of one. Grouping is essential of this fun, group dynamic, collective awareness of what is happening and what to do. Who will be wildest and sexiest. Do men expose themselves, do they get drinks on them like it was sperm? This scene is a collective dance of spring, ancient as it is unacceptable and blown out of proportion. Pornographic imagery is very clear as is influence of music videos. All bodies are trained to perform this act. What happens really is shaming and objectifying of women. Women willingly play cattle to be slaughtered and enjoyed, enjoyed and slaughtered. It is suicidal, destructive and dangerous, but that is obviously what they seek, what turns them on. It is one way of seeing student life and a break from studying.

http://time.com/3984218/joyce-carol-oates-marilyn-monroe/”“How could such a beautiful, successful and famous young woman kill herself?””

 

Is it girlhood having a crisis?

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Crises are normal part of life. Life is a continuation of crisis after crisis. In this light to speak of midlife crisis is absurd. It is as if one had waited and endured till midlife to erupt and be able to do what one desires to do and be. It is an image of people who are under control in straitjackets which they are not allowed to be stripped away from. It is an image of a world where people are not free to decide for themselves. In this image they are slaves to traditions and ideas of gone generations who do not allow new ideas of living because those ideas threat authority, way of life and the whole idea of what is seen as good, what kind of society is good. Who does this kinds of straitjacket good serve is a good question. What is accomplished by it, by militant control? Thoughts on what is good for anybody is dictated from above. In this dictatorship girls and women serve this unchangeable monolith of patriarchy and are replaceable second-class citizens, are threatened and bullied into silence, shame and intolerance without human rights. Monolith that is scared of girls and their education, their bodies and minds is a weak society. It is a tale of men who are terrified of female power.

Asking if girlhood is having a crisis is therefore funny as to me girlhood is and was a bloody crisis. To be told of entering men’s world when I am being stared at and my body being commented by adults was sheer horror. To live for amusement of others was and is the thought of the ideology of chauvinism and sexism which I resent with all my being. I feel nausea when I think of walking and being looked at and shouted at. I truly hope boys will be raised to see girls and women as equals not servants to men, not sexual objects of desire, but thinking and feeling persons, makers of lives of their own. To be a girl in a world where perfection is seen via male perspective, body and what a man can do bring feelings of powerlessness and fear. Yes girls are small and they are easy to rule which makes the having and making of girl brides seem pathetic and sadistic. Those who wish to have children to rape are moronic criminals and brutes, sadists who see evil in children and not in themselves. World where children are subjugated moronic criminals and brutes has a bloody future.

http://www.reproductiverights.org/feature/fighting-for-girlhood?s_src=16SOC0815&s_subsrc=datasync&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=16SOC0815”“Stopping the continuum of harm that is triggered by early marriage is only possible when governments fully implement laws and policies that prohibit child marriage, and when women are aware of their rights and empowered to make decisions about marriage,” says Upreti.”