Yes I understand it must be in our blood, in our upbringing, from where pleasing, wanting to please, of being less and expecting to please, not be pleased comes from. Women are surrounded by messages of slavery, enslavement. They are to take enslavement as their part, part that cannot be battled nor done away with. I think it is a very ruling kind of way of directing and manipulating how women and girls should be and what to become. We do not question it hard enough for some reason. We like our part that much? It is strange for a woman to be something else, out of the ordinary. Those who dare to break the pattern are too few and punished in many ways, socially and mentally in painful ways. The mere wonderment over sticking out can be weirdest experience itself. Women are bullied and forced to be part of the flock that thinks the same, of those who do not act any differently from others, who do not dare or see an interest in doing things in other ways. It is a strange strategy of keeping women soft outside and inside focusing on the things that women are supposed to be interested in. We are supposed to be interested in the feminine things that everybody knows are feminine. I call it programming and a brainwash. Those feminine things are for some reason keeping up as feminine. Borders are strictly drawn, not easily crossed, not easily jumped over just like that at all.
Reasons for women’s need to please parents, family, husband, children, relatives, the eye and the mind may be in our biology, our desperate need to love and be loved, fear of abandonment, bear the weakness like it was the only truth and the fragility as there was nothing else behind it. Definitely our history should work as a wake-up call for all to critically consider position of women in society as subjects who put everybody else’s needs and interests in front. It can be an admirable part for a woman to give oneself completely in service and forget oneself while doing that good deed. As it was inevitable to prevent something bad from happening this way. To define female weakness is to know it and abuse it, fragility, loneliness and loss. Femininity that is below and marked, chased, fought, used, taken for granted, something unchangeable, taken advantage of and women themselves let it happen till they break and cannot take it anymore. As if they do not have any other way than live by the rules made for them. Look happy, look like a woman, smile, don’t look like that, look at that, what a tart, don’t encourage, don’t make mistakes, don’t do wrong, this is wrong, don’t encourage unwanted behavior, you have an evil thing in you, it is a man’s world, between your legs, you should be wanted, do not want yourself, but be wanted.
Who draws the line when do differently and what is different, how to know for sure what is right other than trying it out, the way one wants and what to want, just like that! What ludicrous questions! Who decides what a person can be? What someone, a girl can become, what a woman can do for a living, how to live? What kind of behavior is accepted for a female? What does it depend on? It is a narrow corridor with few doors to enter and preferably one waits for the right man. We so much fear failure, judgment and mistakes. Who decides for her and why is she incapable for deciding for herself? When did a woman become incapable?
Couple of things make me wonder, for one: how are we programmed to please and who do we please to make the most? Pleasing as acting kind of behavior to appeal in a certain way to get the wanted result.
Majakollektiivi Timanttimetsä 