Bodies online


Grip your pillow tight.

I keep my promises.

Balloons

Wearing my weight, wearing my garbage

Wearing my pollution, wearing my garbage

 

2016

Wearing my garbage

Wearing my garbage, hot as hell.

A new project I am starting which wishes to be a collaboration with all on social media. Make clothing of the garbage you produce and photograph yourself wearing it. #wearingmygarbage

Feel free.

A poem for monsters. How much is in you to give? A test.

Can you love an ugly child? Fat, tiny, whiny and useless, suddenly appearing into your life. Is it organic or manufactured, artificial or natural?
Can you love an ugly child who looks like trouble growing with hunger and thirst, who does not belong here or anywhere but needs a place to stay? Whose whole being yells how out of place she is even though she is quietly looking at you.
Can you give affection to a little beast who is an image of you? Maybe forgotten and hidden. Who reminds you of your weaknesses, your desires which you cannot attend to and fulfil because of that visible existence of someone new, an invader, an intruder grabbing you from your gut. Sounds like a leach.
Can you put priorities of your own aside and love someone with two heads and a heart that pounds noise in which nobody can sleep, unconditionally, without saying you owe me?
Screaming, needy and pathetic, noisier and messier. Heads following sudden ideas, not obeying anything said. Someone with three legs, several hands and wide open mouths nonstop.
Can you love an ugly child that needs to be loved more than you could ever imagine, loved more than you love yourself?
Put all your warmth on that tiny body that breaks everything just to try out what happens? How much warmth do you have to spare and what changes?

Are you mental? Can you talk about it freely? Mental illness in art is a curious case. Something to be afraid of and keep your distance?

Question is whose business it is to know? Who needs to know other than gossip hungry public who can feed their fantasies and biases? Do we need to know what kinds of personal issues any artist has had to understand the art? Do these personal issues have an effect on art? What happens to the artist in the process? To make a judgment that art is personal no matter what, it is what one makes with one’s personality, and it is clear what goes on on the inside is what has an effect to the work, any work. Throughout history women who have pursued artist life have been often seen crazy and unbalanced, bad apples. Well, in some cases women artists still are seen through that stereotype and expectation, having chosen such risky field. All this sums up the whole we see and what we are not shown, what we are not allowed to see and talk about, not to speak of what we can be and do.

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It has been strange to witness how prejudiced fine art is, not the audience so. Audience is protected from seeing hurtful and ’damaging’ art. Audience is different from the crowd who does not interest itself in art. It is the same as when sex in art causes a scandal. Sex does not cause scandals in movies or on tv but fine art is a haven of conservative minds, although it is sexist as hell. Sexist as hell and it does not cause a scandal. Very telling of a world where surface is what matters and issues are dealt with on surface level. Digging deeper would change things dramatically. Harasses, bullies and sexists are protected when they have a position where they are almost untouchable.

Mix of personal and political is an expectation but can these issues within truly be faced, sexism, hypocrisy, stagnant scene which evolves slowly? I seriously doubt it. A surface which can be looked at, judged, yes, solving anything, no, progressive, my ass. Knowing and talking of the problems of artists has created a gap, knowing or expecting that such problems exist or stereotypical artists exist. Problems more than average? I don’t think so, as far as I know. Art is just as prejudiced and ill as people are on average. Is there a contradiction? Something to be appalled by? Audience is interested and expecting issues such as mental illness and drama, maybe. How close can they get? A constant surprise, conservatism, even mental illness is and has been discussed within art for ages, for there are many artists who have suffered mental disorders, severe or less. It is something which puts people on alert, talking and scared. Suicide and depression among poets is a romantic image of a suffering artist. Artists to suffer is also such an image which comes across frequently. 19th and 20th century romantic ideal and image lives on even though our understanding has widened. To make art that handles human torment, difficulties, social issues or any difficult issue make it so that the artist has issues in her personal life too. To understand art via the people who make art is of course logical but has consequences.