Disappearance of a cat

 

Absolute conviction: to find something to believe in.

It can be quite hard to find such faith in anything. Despair and hopelessness are hard to beat when they are the landscape around. We may be unable to find things to believe in when good things disappear. Most people possibly have love for their country and family and are ready to defend those entities, protect something of one’s own. Love has something to do with this, what we love we will protect. For what kinds of things we have conviction other than to those that we love and are close to? Do we have to have a personal experience of belonging and connection to feel loyalty and trust to value something and have absolute conviction? The most precious things we hold dear and important we must protect as they are fragile, they are in need of protection. To some it is a nation, a king to serve, religion and god, ideology to follow and practice. Interesting is the mechanism of making need to serve a cause. Cause makes reason, patterns to understand why something happens and why we do what we do. We may have causes but no reason and still have conviction which is impossible to change as it is so completely overcoming. To rule with a cause even though it is wrong is to be able to speak it so it makes sense even it is senseless.

 

 

Born saatanan huora

Saatanan huora

 

All beauty

 

 

Act of bomb shell

Something began with Mae West continuing to Jane Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe to whom many blond big breasted beautiful women in limelight are connected. The biggest role for Norma Jean Baker was Marilyn Monroe and it was not bad acting at all. Marilyn Monroe perfected celebrity performance live act. How could anybody say she was a bad actress? Stupidity, clumsiness, unaware flirting supposed weaknesses of female sex embodied as a childlike doll, inabilities, drunkenness, forgetting her lines and singing. Who is she like when she is like that, why do we tolerate her like that, let her do what she does and adore her, are endlessly interested in her still? Was she doing what she was told to do, to act nice and look beautiful, smile, wave, walk, be perky bubbly adorable magnet. If you are not smiling you are troubled and rumors get wings, there are pictures of you with wrinkles on your forehead, hand on your face, face looking sad, you distant and depressed-looking. Sad beauty is not fun. She is pathetic and it is time to find a new one who will entertain us with her moves and nonsense kind of puppuppiduu and I love you’s. Is she on medication, does she do drugs, why does she drink? What is her problem? How can someone so beautiful have such problems?
That she is a manipulating calculating bitch who knows what she is doing turns the thing of childish stupidity around and her more of a product of her own doing. She is like a victim but she does it herself. Nobody is forcing her to become the sex bomb other than herself but sex bombing is the way for her to be seen and get ahead in her career. She gets to be noticed. There is interest in her, she is wanted to be seen, perform, asked to TV-shows, interviewed. What is the interest in with whom she is having sex? Sex is what gets us to be interested in her and how she is sexual in front of us, what she is daring to do and behaving ways most of us wouldn’t dare in public. To look at someone who is daring is a turn on, exciting and fun, a riot kind of boost. She is crossing a limit, stepping over and looking what happens.
Then we do not know the whole story and we start inventing what is she like and why is she doing what she does, what is her motivation, what is her problem, is she talented at all, what does she have what others do not. She is using us for her benefit, isn’t she? Seduction of come look at me, look what I have got, would you like to touch and have a piece of me, dream of me, just look at me. Tragedy is when sex bomb cannot be anything else even though she would like to. We don’t want her as anyone else but as that posing body wearing a tight dress and smiling face which is eternally youthful white pure but dirty underneath. All is told but nothing is said. Something remains the same and is like a circle. White blond bleached retouched lifted up tightened squeezed into erased immortalized repeated over and over again. Is she in trouble, is she the trouble, what did she do, who does she think she is? She is nothing and everything, she is diminished and made big. What a contrast and battle to have. How is it possible to stay in that role, keep that pose, keep that white and that form of body?

Missing person

pencil on paper, 2015

Finland 100yrs Fennovoima

Would you like to sit on it? Erected Finland.

What does it mean to have an ego?

Does it mean one can speak of oneself all the time, bring oneself forward because one understands one’s importance as a human being in a competitive world, to value and marvel all the wonderful things one has had the pleasure to do and become? All the wonderful things that can be labelled on that person things that make him or her. What are those things and who get impressed? What happens when those things are taken away, what happens to ego? To be self-centered can be about hiding one’s insecurity, that one is not able to compete in the competitive world where we are something only when we have excellence to present as visible proof. There is weakness in a hugely ballooned ego and it is fragile in unstable world filled with similar egos, similar ideas of what it means to be impressive, sizable and important. Big egos are fragile for criticism, afraid of losing and not winning, they attack and blacklist, stump on mud trying to defeat. Big ego is fragile for negative emotions to arise and take the better of the egoist which very often happen and so easily. There is hurt and offense.

The most egotist thing to do is to do all for the benefit of oneself only, to pursue and stand for things that bring good and profit for one and few only. This is a caricature which is very real. It is a very immature type of person for whom excellence is something one is born with, god given. How many of us are egotists, narcissists, disregarding interests of other people and any other being around? By the look of it, by experience, such outlook on life is fairly common, incapability and unwillingness to take others into consideration. What does it take to grow to be considering instead of a bully? Is it the bad thing that decent people deny from themselves ever having, consideration and compassion because it is costly, time-consuming, humbling and anti-hierarchical? Is ego something the bold people possess, ruthless and greedy ones, isn’t that ego as a hollow construction, a show off and scare? We talk as we know ego. We talk it is the positive empowering pedestal, a sign of self-respect maybe, a sign of disrespect if one is a woman, arrogant and cocky. Someone who knows what one wants and is must have a strong ego among all those egos. Ego has a dark shadow, it is gendered already for children. It is the negative which is not encouraged for girls to have and a girl who shows bossy is punished for doing the same what boys ’naturally’ express. The word ego clings to something grand, becoming and making oneself and has the clang of the worst of mankind: self-absorbed, self-centered, endless self-love, violent battle that has no end other than dead-end. When we are selfless are we without ego, without dignity and awareness and acknowledging self-worth? To be able to fight for dignity and self-worth to know what one can do is essential.

How much is it good to have an ego? Is that the right question at all, the amount of ego in us and what we do when we have self-confidence and belief in one’s capabilities. As an artist it is essential the belief in oneself. Nobody else does that for you. How essential it is to have a strong ego, not be blinded by it but have it as a force. Is it the same as large ego to have strong ego? There is no one telling me what to do, how to do what I do. I either manage it or I do not. I work as long as it takes to make the idea come true. How much does my ego effect on why I do, what I do, how I do and what kind of place I occupy for myself to be able to do the things I value? One must value oneself to find one’s passion, follow one’s interests regardless of what people around think of them and of me.

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/434827/individual-cowardice-killing-american-culture?utm_campaign=trueAnthem%3A+Trending+Content&utm_content=5728623d04d3012df78b5195&utm_medium=trueAnthem&utm_source=twitter ”I’ve often found myself thinking of William Butler Yeats’s classic poem, “The Second Coming.” In it, Yeats ponders societal collapse, writing: “Things fall apart; the center cannot hold.” In our nation, the center didn’t even try to hold. The “reasonable” people made the easy choice to go with the flow of cultural upheaval.”