crazy

 

Word revolution, meaning of revolution.

It is a favourite strong expression, expressing will, a song with a catchy tune. Still a word about innovation which we instantly wake up for, an instant happening put up, launching of a product, a brand, event which raises attention to and interest in what is new at the moment. Revolution is in the moment. What new will this product bring to us as a community and to individuals who wish to alter their lives. It, the change factor, being an idea, a tool, concept, way to do things differently. What is the revolution we like, we like to repeat like a mantra, salvation? What has been explored and found via revolutions till this day is human character, how slowly anything truly changes, what it takes to change society, the sacrifices, work and effort, faith and how easily revolution disappoints. It flops when people get tired, when people fail, when people lie, when people are not willing to work together for wellbeing of all, when revolution means different things, different outcomes and means.

In making revolution people need to be active, take stand, put themselves at jeopardy and risk, with revolution we are with those who oppose the unchangeable something in the way for necessary refreshing. Invented, determinate, no other alternative but to act, moving forward to discarding the old? What is the new then? It better be better than the old, a new name is not enough. We like to spin with it, idea of constant reinvention and illusion. It, the action, hope of change we like to be with without catching breath, hang around with, stay, be thrilled and make our lives better.

When revolution happens all the time everywhere it is merely a normal development, an everyday event, but we pay attention to it still because it is revolution. We mention and talk about revolution. Ask is this revolution and maybe we are not sure. Should we take part, is it safe and is it about being safe. What does revolution look like? Because it is revolution, an important occasion and something special, development which is meaningful for many may take place. Extraordinary, extraordinary, extraordinary, there where there is no room for extraordinary. What happens to extraordinary without revolution is suffocation, silencing. Extraordinary is the very ingredient of revolution, special which is banned, not found, not looked for, not missed until there is a bunch of people who show this is what we need and must do. When you repeat the same word what happens? Society and culture evolve is the expectation when revolution is about to take place, not backwards but forward to absorb thinking and technology which is fitted into the old as better, sold as better, as making a difference.

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Table is served. Justification for ill talk and where goes the limit.

 
How delicious it is to talk about someone who is somehow special. Those who speak still think they are above this person, because they have information they can analyze from their point of view, as experts, assuming why the person has done whatever she or he has done, why someone is the way she or he is. Anything goes and to rip someone apart is all time fun bonding those who either lack things the person they talk about has, do not dare to live the way out of the ordinary, are afraid they themselves will be ripped apart and talked about. To be the topic in a community falls for those who stick out and those who get caught doing things they are not supposed to do. What we are not supposed to do is interesting and sets barriers to our lives, justifiably of course in the cases of crime. Rules and laws are to protect people. How is the case concerning talk and privacy issues is a matter that is easily forgotten. Some things are not to be ripped open by bunch of strangers who do not have the knowledge needed to see why and what. Some things are not concerns yours never such as someone’s sex life, mental illness, financial problems, drinking, marital life, anything that someone decides to do in one’s own life is the matter of that person and people whom it concerns.
News agency as it is called especially in villages and small towns where what the neighbor does can be seen as something to talk about depending what neighbor is doing. Is he cutting the grass, building a fence, playing music too loud or fucking someone on the porch (who wishes to witness this). Yes it is fun and entertaining, lives of other people, the mess, reputation and putting it to dirt, step down someone. Gossiping is using power over someone. How that info goes around in an instant. It is very clearly therapeutic where one’s own life is compared to that of whom there is talk about. It is violence where the victim is not able to defend himself/herself. To be able to defend oneself is one key to this problem. It is important to show that justice can be found and all is not ok to do. Does gossiping help as therapy is a matter of how help is seen. It works the same way as self-pity without thorough understanding of what is wrong, without realizing that the wrong you do by gossiping is immoral and a violation. To feel sorry for yourself doesn’t do any good to you or change your life for better. It is not justified in any way. It is weakness. Gossip is of course used to promote self. Should we accept the blown up industry of exposure, peeping of private lives, how the rich live, how to succeed and what is success, fun people are having, the difference and the gap in between us?
Gossip is very influential force in contemporary society, it sells, it interests and has wide impact on how people think their lives should be and look like, how people behave. What is desirable, what is shameful, how we fail to see the perversion of gossiping in the mean time when we are following those whom we think are perverts, useless jackasses, how we laugh at people when it is in the mirror people should take a good look at. Gossiping definitely is not a sign of good mental heath and state of balance in one’s life. To have fun on other people’s lives or moralize is to put those targets to their places down there for whatever reason. Reason for gossiping other than low self-esteem and sadism? Need to bully even just a little, negative emotions that may rise out of comparison maybe, hating those who do what they please, to show how good you are when you can say this, point out to that direction and show corruption, shame and disgrace, isolate, destroy.
How do they get all that money, who is she fucking with, how does she do it, to whom is she pregnant, to be a mother at such a young age, did you hear that .. oh how awful. Who are you dating, how is your sex life, are you getting married, they split up, she is single. Oh my god look at her butt!
We all still like to mind our own businesses when it comes to helping anyone.

 

What is a perfect life?

All kinds of damage make life difficult. Anything. We must be prepared for anything, and are we?Life has to offer a plethora of flesh and mind eating violent sudden wrongs, it is mutating, damaging, hurtful and brutal, no matter where you live.  Ways of brutality differ. Somewhere brutal action is less visible than somewhere else, nevertheless it is about hurting, getting hurt, dealing with damage.
People who have suffered hardship may have advantage. They may see possibilities in tiniest things, practically there where there is nothing much. They, who get hurt, which is all, have the possibility to see aspects through that hurt, perspectives otherwise would not be possible. They, who face the worst in life have to learn to give, get going despite anything and survive. Know how to either live with their cross, make something out of that cross, is it light or heavy, be a true badass fighter or magician, to tackle all possible darkness there is and win. To not think that damage is a sentence, curse, or that God has abandoned you or the whole world is against you. To overcome difficulties caused by injuries or injuries caused by difficulties, to deal with bleeding, ache, illness, loss, nevertheless one must overcome day after day pain and defeat the burden one way or another. Pain and hurt are our every day but we are not easily tolerant of pain of someone else. We see our pain, it can be blinding, but pain of that other is beyond our understanding. To become tired of being strong and defeating something bigger than oneself is an everyday issue. Self-pity is one way of trying to survive and understand why bad things happen to good people and why life has to be unbearably hard. When you cope with pain, is it possible to forget it?

About how we could face and see difficulties disabled face is to try out life disabled live.

How to deal with offense? What kind of things offend the most? Hurt against disabled is very every day. It is often situation of constant hurting and comparing to those who are not visibly disabled. Disabled stick out of the crowd, need special care, special planning for every detail in everyday life we take for granted, are in many cases denied dignity and control over their lives, do not have access to decent health care or have to fight constantly to find it, fight over aid and possibilities to influence their constantly disregarded and undervalued situation. Who wants to offend disabled? No one, but many do just by staring, being inconsiderate, calling names, talking about disabled without knowledge over their lives, feelings, thoughts or much reason because many disabled can speak for themselves. The thing is who listens to them, the kind of second class who are at our mercy, we who can do whatever we please, almost.
To talk about disabled as an abled person is awkward, it feels like I am stepping on toes. Situation of how to speak of those others whose experiences are more or less unknown is present and quite demanding. To speak about anyone whom you wish to be able to help but possibly do nothing but create empty talk of good-hearted naivety, everything may and will go wrong anyway because the experience is too distant and alien. You haven’t sat in their chairs, haven’t been looking at the stairs which you are not able to climb, haven’t been at the level of someone who sits all the time. Therefore I welcome all art that juggles this dilemma of finding the level and connection where we can truly understand obstacles and walls someone faces, identifying with complex hurt we carry abled and disabled, because we do not easily meet, learning to respect thoughts and feelings of others especially when realities of other people can be so completely unknown and far away even we physically stand close.

Designers design aid and mobility tools for disabled, but as I have come across many times, there is not much understanding of the every day problematic, which could be very simple things like how to keep your wheelchair clean, how much space one needs to turn and what kinds of doorsteps truly one has to go over at one’s house or how to reach out.

Indecency all over

Interest in pornography lies in its forbidden nature. Porn is in the crotch. All one has got to do is to look at it, put one’s hand in there, taste it. What we are not to do, touch or see is interesting. Why the ban, what’s the harm? To forbid any thought of sex, casual sex, contraception, protection is telling of society who is not able to talk about sex, cannot face that people have sex without desire to have children, that people like fucking and find the ways. Society which denies sexuality denies a large part of being human. A sexual act and nudity we hide in privacy, which hiding or revealing is part of the attraction, seduction and curiosity in needing to be wanted. Positions we are not supposed to experiment or like. Will we be ruined? Will our minds be damaged? Something gets damaged in pornography and we like to ruin, hurt, destroy and see what can be build out of that ruin. Reputation and respectability have been those to be protected. Double life can be exciting at the same time being ashamed but doing it. There are things people don’t know about you, they think you are something else than what you give the impression of being. Why be truthful when you can lie. To avoid rumors, fame of distrust, disgusting sleaziness of being out in the open for what you are, an imbalanced character liking hazy business, strange company who is in search for the marginal finding methods of hiding away from judgmental eye. Marginal indeed. Respectability, likability, honor and obedience to follow the narrow path given where anything scandalously sexual is criminal, scandal is caused easily, honor is lost forever. What kind of honor is in lying? In sex there is no honor which is part of the attraction, only honor is to bring pleasure to the partner too. Sexuality is dishonorable as is being bankrupt. Gay sex, transgender people and any diversity there is, is slashed as unnatural. Unnatural is the act of anal sex which could not be more natural. Men being feminine, dressing and talking like women. There is nothing unnatural in sex and having sex, being a feminine male or masculine female. Sex is to create not only to recreate. Liking porn makes one instantly closer to being weird, liking being weird, not normal which is boring as is being appalled by sexuality. Liking sex makes a woman slutty. In light of statistics it is very normal to watch porn, for women and men. Interest in sex begins from early on: what are these things between our legs for. Shame, denial, incompleteness and indecency manifest in mere nakedness. Awkward desires we are not to have, ask about or show, body parts without names can be hard to look at, to know about, not to speak of touching and talking about how, why and what. What can we desire and what can we have sexually? Sexually all is to be able to fulfill any desire there is. To have all is quite a lot.

Fear of exposure in environment of shame and shame when being exposed can be deadly experience. Why not be happy and proud of what one is, one can end up dead. Are you a pervert, do you think about sex often, what kind of sex do you like, how do you find partners and do you find the ones that like the same things you do? Line between perversion, what is seen acceptable and normal is considerably low. Masturbation is perverted, watching someone masturbate. You are not to do it alone, you are not to dream about it. When you talk about sex it is with laughter. It is a joke. How much fun can sex be and who is having fun? To whom is pornography fun? Fun is when you see something you do not normally see, excitement, thrill, experience of new, can you do that.

When I draw porn it is enjoyable as research, as looking at something forbidden again and again. I am not supposed to draw porn, I like the thought of evil and bad about it and to share this naughtiness in social media is part of my fun. In porn people are to show they enjoy exhibiting their bodies and act of having sex in public. My interest in porn is professional partly that I enjoy the diversity and how pornography evolves, how society absorbs porn almost quietly, how this absorbing tells of that many like what they see in porn. It is expression, a show, how could it be banned when people like it. It is an unstoppable object moving. Logic of banning porn is it is damaging to those who make it and to those who watch, to all of society. Image of an ideal female body has gotten to a point it gets its inspiration from images of porn and what men like. Body is in a process of being molded into very specific desirable woman doll to be used, who is in use all the time, usable in sex and also discarded. Women molding bodies of theirs to fit the image of porn to please the eye, image is slick, made up, unnatural, shaven, without any asymmetry. Is there harmony when there is symmetry, any hint of reality of a woman who is not a retouched image? There is harmony in body not being symmetrical naturally, how we get to be the likes we pay attention to, to get attention, we manipulate. We do not like to be copies but we copy, as we compare to images of porn actresses and want to be wanted. Body can seem ugly, clitoris being the kind which does not please the eye of contemporary aesthetics where all is in control and symmetrical, synthetic and artificial. Anything sticking out does not belong, it is modified. One can go pretty far in fixing oneself. Natural is seen unaesthetic, imperfect, undesirable. Still we talk about the most natural thing, sex, even watching porn is natural. Seeing sex turns on and makes one want having sex. The corrupting aspect here is in how women are seen and treated, how porn is produced, how pleasure is sold and from where it is found. When we can’t escape our sexuality we can enjoy it. Who is allowed to?

Footnote to Howl

Footnote to Howl: Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy!

Do-do-dominating

The unconscious, something that is constantly present but not actively thought (which unfamiliar self we may try to escape, deny, ridicule, which we may be scared of or belittle just as an unimportant, something we don’t have time to explore or don’t know how to) is a big part of us. Existing unconscious, evolving subconscious, dream world, soul of humanity and how to describe it, what it does and makes us do, makes of us, what it makes of us when we are aware of our lack of understanding all, inability to see all and fully see ourselves, how difficult it is. Unconscious is something to be sensed, be puzzled by, talked about and not know it completely never. There is no end to it when you begin. Something in our minds we actively use but do not control, know much about, acknowledge, appreciate and connect with as an essential part of ourselves connecting us to nature and the spiritual. Spirit of ours, intuition, knowledge, irrational maybe but linked to the real world, a guide, emotional. The effect unconscious has on us is tremendous despite do we know about its existence or not. We have a relationship to it, it is part of our psychology, psyche, growing, humanity and animal side, an instinct. Instinct, feeling, unconscious mind is intriguing as we do not know it. It is a puzzle and makes us puzzles as well, depth of ours what is there to be found. It is a finding, a treasure and means to connect with the unconscious are somewhat hazy, poorly tolerated just as is talk about the unconscious something hard to handle and understand, cope with. It is unbelievable, irregular, intolerable, irritatingly important, shameful and private.