watercolour drunk passed out

Drunk passed out

What she deserves

Bunnies

Bunnies

I like bunnies. I really really like bunnies. I think they are the cutest animals ever. I

like their big ears and furry, eh little furs and legs,,,and the way they jump.

What she deserves?
It is true, I have a condition and it is called Fuck you. Dye yourself blonde, dye your hair blonde, change yourself completely is the message. It equals beauty. Be skinny and fit, it equals to what? Torture? What is it? Essentials to being beautiful is to be less and not aggressive, agreeable to a point you can’t say anything back, be nice so that you do not disturb and it is what it means to be a woman and behaving like one. How to be pleasant wearing Crazy Love the fragrance is a tightrope and you are under looking glass. The flaw is in you.

Beauty is subjective. It is when you are able to do what you want and be free? To stick penis into her mouth and make her choke, make her throw up as she should, die as she should, killed by penis in her mouth, mouth like a sewer. Beauty is in the image and you are not it. That is discussed, being disgusted by her feeling empowered by herself and taking that feeling away it is the right thing to do, she does not deserve to feel powerful.

What is ugly? And do you think about it?

What is ugly?

In art it is something to pursue and master but to be beautiful is too much, so beauty can be too much and a flaw, to make beautiful objects to sell, things to seduce, have seductive visuals around is to make value (what is seductive? Is it about vanity?), to match people and their spaces, their ideals of what is good and what they are themselves. Art must equal learned beauty standards, standards of the aesthetic or it is ugly and rejected as unappealing. One is left to wonder aesthetics of ours, how it needs to be cultivated and the value of beauty in our culture, whether it exists at all (what kind of beauty) and especially beauty in females, for females or is it for males. What is seen in an instant is more important than what does the sight say in-depth. If art has any value, value is the aesthetics, in the matching not disagreeing, arguing and making one think something else than fitting in. To think why something strikes as beautiful and something as ugly and why we think art should follow basic visual tender spots to be liked. Same goes with people. We have strong views on what we like to see in women and in men on the outside.
This strangely stuck thought follows idea many have about what art should be and also how people are perceived, what beauty is in people and in art, meaning of beauty for us, cost of beauty and effort we see to be beautiful by standards we are set to follow. How beautiful all of this is should be argued by those who are lured by beauty. It is agreeable, standardised, manufactured and known instantly, admired, imitated and wondered, but still to beauty one can do whatever. It is fragile and a threat. It is something to exploit, banish and be destroyed out of a whim and just because it shuns and shadows beauty in you maybe. Beauty is under someone else’s power though it is a possession and to be fucked. It is not power but it is seen powerful. It appeals to our need to feel good, be liked and surrounded by attention beauty must give. Beauty has a way of making instant feeling of good.

 

How ugly happens?

watercolour drunk passed out

 

In search of a porno monster

Cunt is currency, looks is currency, what else is there than having currency and something to buy?

I can approach this topic by how I have always been viewed by people, commented and stared at. Pushed into a role of female which is highly narrow and limiting, refusing this is irregular and not wanted, to understand power of feminine attraction is awkward, what power, and which one thing one should understand is how to exploit this situation, to see the whole picture over and over again unchanged can be defeating. To me it has been traumatising no less to figure out how trapped we are by visual pleasure instantly and how women do not have power because our thing is to please and via that get attention and be liked, loved, noticed, approved, hired etc. It is sad as hell. By kissing ass and doing as we are told we do not get power, we do not have power, ever.

To be female in a shallow profit driven world and succeed is to accept how one-sided women should be, are desired to be, not try build more dimensions and possibilities. Assumptions and options which repeat the same stay boring and have nothing to do with progress, intellect, human rights and dignity or my line of work when one tries to change the state of things and one’s life, tries to change the expected. My worth as a maker is in the work I do, not on how I look like and what I have under my clothes. To pay attention to my looks when I work is pure sexism and I do not tolerate it, not from women and not from men. I am many times left out because of my gender and looks play an unwanted bizarre role, sexism functions as limiting and exclusionary like picking the fruit to be eaten. I do not play games which sexism is all about and expects to play along. I do not accept my role as all pleaser which is the part of women and rules of this game are set for women. We all are scaled out through and through how attractive we are which tactics is wrong and hurtful in many ways not only for the people but for progress within society.

Attractiveness is subjective and the easy breezy simple way to see and judge people, why on earth is it so? Stereotypes live on as do behavioural patterns, models of thinking. It is far too easy to think and stick on to the view that women who are attractive are stupid, available, weak, deaf, easily led, want certain things, can be manipulated and to overcome this bias they must work harder, look ugly, learn to say no, work harder than those who do not have the burden of looks and sex, burden of sex is the expectation, assumption and the ready-made image which must be met. Yes a burden because whether ugly or beautiful we are judged by it completely and it is waste of time, human resources, energy, unnecessary bullying and repeating of old thinking patterns which do more harm than good. How to be objective and be sure to get accurate results is obviously very difficult task but it is not impossible. It is not enough to be impressed by work done, we must be impressed by character and habitus, to please and like are more important than what has been accomplished. What comes to doing one’s job well, is it a matter of gender and appearance because cock has more valid info and capability than cunt? We live in a corrupt world where to understand laws of corruption pays off. I must grow myself a cock. What do we do to end corruption is not play with it.

In business and in art where you come from, gender and appearance strikingly have big roles still, looks and gender can tell of intelligence and talent usually lacking which correlation to me is pure fascism. That is the most comment sparking thing about me I appear and I am not what you expect me to be, such issues which concern me as a human being are almost solely about my surface from head to toe. Best thing is of course to say so that I can hear that I am fuckable. Oh yes fuckable of course, how else can someone like me be understood and set to one’s place but naked and legs apart. I am trying to be a professional artist but it fails for many to behave as professionals somehow (is there piss in your heads?) who think they are professionals when it comes to gender roles and how women are treated and perceived within the industry. Someone who looks like I do cannot be talented and her looks must be commented because that is the compliment, right. I don’t find it flattering, I know what I look like and I do not push my appearance to be the most important thing in me.

One more thing: when photographing an exhibition, it is more interesting to photograph the artwork than the artist. When I say I don’t like to be photographed, please don’t insist because I mean what I say and I am showing my work not myself. For me this has a huge difference whether you get it or not. I’m not into posing with my art, it is fucking lame.