When we aim to attract what do we do? We manipulate and change our appearance.

Question is a multilevel one. It is to ask what is attractive, how do we define attractive and what do we make of it. Value of looking like perfection is high. How do we make ourselves attractive, more and more attractive? What attracts us and why? Why should one attract when it is almost all there is to a person? It is an asset to gain something and currency, it is of course a matter of survival. What are motives to attract other than that, to feel good about yourself, yes and making things happen. Is it a give and take situation, a very simple one where my looks tells the other what I am for, what I want and who I am? How does attraction change along the years? What kind of people are attracted to each other? What is the attraction, a lure there? What is there to get, is it all good or something to be careful for? Is attraction the interesting part of us, does it make an interesting person, yes doesn’t it and in what way, the one who is attractive and the one who gets attracted to?

Interesting part is the what is there for me. I do this and this to match an ideal to please the eye and mind which is accepting or rejecting. Attraction is a calculation and a play. We deem ugly or beautiful within seconds, all kinds of reactions come forward. We know what we like and usually reasons to like someone’s appearance are very straightforwardly sexual. This is seen normal and something we are pushed to think, not profoundly but on surface. To question this in any way is odd. In an era of images we make judgments based on looks very hastily still even though we know it is an image, 2-dimensional picture, an illusion, maybe there is only one dimension. Where the interest lies is merely the physical attraction which to us is highly important and via which we move on in the world. All revolves around it, looks and sex and what we see, how we evaluate the seen and what does it mean what we just saw.

To modify and manipulate our appearance we can make ourselves more attractive more alluring and more interesting to be more popular and successful. To evaluate value of success which comes via looks one can say: should I be interested? What happens when you do the opposite and do not pay attention to your looks? And what does physical attraction mean when it is the most important measure of one’s worth?

What you don’t want a blowjob anymore? Oh dear, how unfortunate.

 

 

Come play with me

 

At vanity fair, wearing my garbage

 

In search of a porno monster

Under lucky stars: how are the stars lucky?

How do you define luck? It is a very subjective matter, what we consider as good things to have and happen in life, to grow from, maybe, a pleasant place to dwell and form as a person. It is like when you won something, a competition, situation of being conceived and further developed, when partly randomly you become a human infant. When you are born if you are lucky you grow to be more you, bigger and bigger, more aware hopefully or maybe a human infant in an adult’s body, or something which is decided is you. This is you, hopefully you’ll like it. This is what you should be is still a very common thought which comes from outside of you. We are defined by other people constantly. There is not a moment we would not be monitored when there is more people than you there. Some people are monitored more than others I have noticed, wonder why… Many believe whole-heartedly that norms made are what we should play by, that we are here to be filled with joy and the norms make this filling happen and if that is not happening we feel miserable and blame the feminists for ruining such a good thing. What brings us joy then, living fulfilling lives in comparison to others without need to change, just to match up? Crises are there to wake us up, loss of luck, out of luck situation. To keep on winning and how to is a trick because it is difficult, demands strength and effort. How do we measure the winning, the jack pot, what is it worth and what is the jack pot in the first place, what do we value? How to win in being and becoming you? Or what is your impact within the bigger picture, you feel lucky to be able to live for yourself without concern over others?

Welfare state is a result of decades of hard work. People having build a welfare state and thinking despite where the child is born he or she can have an education, free meal, healthcare, sense of security and support. It does not remove the fact that there are people who would like to see such situation gone, that there are people who think we are bound to luck, circumstances and that is a good thing, the roughness is now lacking. Something which makes us value more what we have got. We don’t have to struggle as humans as much as we should. It has made us lazy especially in thinking. People have become spoiled, naive and arrogant. This much I can agree with. It has come across many times that I should feel lucky I am born in a country where I can realise my goals and dreams just as anybody, sure I can as long as my dreams and goals stay within the given frame. Frame is kind of too small. Don’t be fooled I feel very fortunate and welfare state has been proven effective in my life. To be an artist with my background is an oddity which I find funny as hell.

Here too there is a price to pay for a woman who does as she pleases, as she chooses. My decisions have always been out of the ordinary. Freedom and luck are about being able to choose aren’t they. How about responsibility, how about originality, how about something to say? As it has occurred women are not allowed to break gender norms that easily or at all without it being a scandal, wrong and an outrage of some sort, art being a very fine example. It has also been shown that gender norms are very much violent and intact, changing slowly in slowmo and to repeat why feminism is important must be done individually like drawing a map. You do not hate men or do you? Ok, let’s get this hate thing sorted..

Freedoms men have manifest the problematical within the gender roles. Being able to choose because of physicality, being bigger and traditionally seen as more of this and that, as idiotic as it sounds, is there, it is ’easy’ and society is letting them freely exercise their maleness and the role of a leader. To let girls be bossy is one way to get the thing solved. Me being male is a horrifying alternative but I must try it out. I have a process of wiping feminine role of a subject. Maleness is aggression which women can’t exercise without being labelled crazy and hateful, having lost femininity. For men there is more authority in what they say, stature and credibility in what they do, isn’t there. This is like self-evident. There is black and white, small and big, bad and good, men and women. Whereas woman can prove to be very able many times over and still not be given credit for what she does, quite the opposite. What does she think she is. For her to be grand is to play like a man. Fortune and luck are somewhat different for the sexes. They are very material, the more and bigger you are in the right way the better and the bigger you will become and the more things you can make and have the more you are. Respectability and fulfilment by gender and possessions is a very male outlook on things and gender but yet again women play the same game. To impress via size and amount, measurements and possessions and we all should have that to feel good about ourselves?

For some it is impossible to understand and see the luck they have had and share. It is taken for granted or seen a possession which must be earned. Maybe luck is the wrong kind or there is no such thing. Woman is the filling and the only luck she can have is her looks, oh the blessings of appearance and visuals. They run the world but are cheap. It is confusing. If she is difficult meaning she thinks for herself it could it be seen lucky, she is capable of thinking?

The situation can be she does not understand the good man brings, the good man thinks is the good. When you have every material thing but you feel alone, you still do not feel lucky, you need to feel wanted. Loneliness is the defining thing even though you have got all man could possibly want and you like to talk about this all. Bragging about luck but failing to appreciate it is the disease. The infantile need to feel wanted and loved is there even though you have got what is called success by the terms of material modern man. To be born male is a stroke of luck but he feels partial unless he does not have what is expected of man to have. Tragedy of being male are also the expectations. To feel successful, loved and lucky, basis is on the feeling. It is an irrational state, an out of control loop where you think you have the control because of what you have, have been able to accomplish, own and maybe feel unlucky because of what you do not have. This eats you up. Isn’t this what TV and social media is full of nowadays.

We are lured to think happy is what we should be feeling and we think we know what things bring us happiness, which feeling is tightly connected to being lucky, having luck. Whether you like to dwell in feeling unlucky in some ways or are able to feel lucky for what you have got is a matter of maturity and looking at things as they are. Do we see people as they are or via made lenses?
When your chances living your life fully (whatever that means) as a creation of your own is not only a narcissist daydream but something we can all pursue without exploiting others and without hurting anyone in the process, that is fortunate. Idea of luck is what I make of is kind of interesting as we seem to think it is something where we are born into, or with, and are granted like a gift, partly yes and partly no.
To be born under lucky stars is a moment, like a wish for the baby that she or he will be lucky in her/his life. Lucky is of course to be born in the first place. Lucky to be on this earth. To be born screaming, to be born a boy with all your toes. You will be treated differently from early on as you are defined by your sex. How is that lucky? Maybe luck vanishes in that moment of defining and knowing which sex the child is. The situation of being born a girl and how that effects your life. You can be mistreated, killed, abandoned, rejected only for this reason. We know this. Girl is a burden, also for the girl herself her sex is a burden.
So what is the lucky part? When we are loved as we are, since we are not able to impact on how we get to be born. It is out of our hands. Therefore it is huge wrongdoing to place the blame on the child, isn’t it.

Vaalimainos

To swallow a load.

Finland fucks

 

I just could not help myself and not go look for an orgy online. It is so hidden and not.

To test limits happens quite easily: limits are somewhat odd.

Testing begins when we get naked. Nudity is very badly tolerated even though art is filled with nudes, especially women. They usually are reclining nudes or bare-breasted embarrassingly trying to hide their bosom. For me I am naked even though I am fully clothed, this is the gaze and comments I get. Banning nudity online does not make it better, it makes it worse. People who have never seen a naked body seem to be on the edge and falling over, surely Finland has more open culture what comes to nudity, many people are just ashamed and scared: what happens to fragile minds in this world, to those who see naked breasts happens something out of the order, which is intolerable and wrong. To explain why and how I am porn is that I am measured and seen as a porn object always, that is the default setting and why I am for, have always been which I have to constantly fight and it is tiring. To be an underwear model would be an ideal profession for me surely. To lose 5 to ten Kilos would go perfectly with that, wouldn’t it. Taking off clothes does not make the situation much different, only that I can examine what happens and write my reply, contradict in concrete perception on female body which is shamed and too much to take because it is out of the ordinary somehow, I don’t know how that is possible.

Naked female body equals the world going out of its joints, hell breaking loose or falling down as people are dictated by their urges which tells that we are in large sense animals and respect animal urges as frightening posing a threat to humanity. Humans must be fully clothed even in art. How do we explore our body and sex obsessed culture if naked body can’t be put under microscope in public? How do we make an impact which truly changes something in our obsession, fear and loop of old ideas that do not work well in today’s world? How do we show what our culture is all about: women are not allowed to rule their bodies, women do not have right to reflect and see what happens when nudity is and female body is put in centre of the attention? Will you say how sorry you are that women are born porn stars, at least I am, was? It is not enough to say you are sorry, nothing changes. Women must be allowed to set their boundaries themselves. How do we make progress seems very hard and slow when rights of women are in the dirt. This is much about self-governance of one’s body and life.

Vastaukseni Youtubelle joka kieltää alastomat rinnat videoissa ja jäädyttää koko tilin jos osassa videoista on alastomuutta jossa näkyy rinnat:

Videoni ovat taidevideoita ja niillä käsitellään naisen kehoa ja siihen liittyvää ongelmallisuutta, jota tämä kielto on osa eli naisen alaston vartalo on pornograafinen sellaisenaan ja kielletty epäasiallisena, tyyliin imettäminen on julkisessa tilassa heikkohermoisille haitallista. Taiteessa alaston vartalo etenkin naisen vartalo on iso osa koko taidehistoriaa, joten on varsin kummallista, että vielä nykyään koetaan tarpeelliseksi verhota ja piilottaa täysin luonnollinen asia ja vielä naisen itsensä käsittelemänä, miehet ovat yleensä katsojan ja tekijän asemassa. Videoillani ei edes ole seksiä ja tarkoitukseni on juuri viitata taidehistoriaan ja miksi maalaus on eri asia kuin oikea olemassaoleva vartalo. Piirustuksissani kylläkin on varsinaista pornoa, mutta niitä en esitä Youtubessa. Tarkoitukseni on myös tuoda esille tekopyhä kulttuuri joka on hyvin seksi ja vartalokeskeinen ja vihaa naisia. Trollit ja Youtube että Google sen todella tekevät näkyväksi: naisvihan ja tekopyhyyden.

My answer to YouTube for freezing my account for showing breasts in couple of my videos: My videos are art videos and I examine female body and problematical involved what comes to women and their bodies. This ban tells that female body is pornographic as such and forbidden to see in everyday context, for example breast-feeding in public space is for many too much to take. Banning nudity in art is one reason why people have hard time understanding and tolerating nudity as normal. People have hard time with human body even though it is completely natural and should be viewed as such, not something to hide and be ashamed of. Men have been those who look, gaze, comment and view naked women sexually. In my videos there is not sex, there are breasts of mine which obviously are pornographic per se.

My meaning is to have a conversation with art history which is filled with female nudes and what these nudes have been there for on display, what is the sacred and what is abomination, unholy, why painting is different from actual real life image and why nudity is immediately about sex? My drawings and paintings do have sex in them but they too are not for gazing purposes. I examine pornography and culture which is soaked in porn on many levels, so much so it has become normal to pose like a porn star and ask for porn-like sex from a stranger online. My meaning is to question body and sex obsessed culture which still can’t look at female body without it being a disgrace, the body and the woman. It is exactly her which ought to be ashamed not men. It is hypocrisy and misogyny. This culture is kept up by trolls, YouTube and Google especially. It is ok to hurt, stalk and violate privacy but to look at nudity in art is too much to take.

selfie of going to sleep