Built from the street?

31 heinäkuun, 201428 helmikuun, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

I idealize prostitutes, sex workers. Should I defend myself for it? In movies they are often the most beautiful characters, flamboyant, fleshy, flashy, loud, hurt, always getting up from some deep hole, beaten, spat at, surviving. Cars and prostitutes, clothes and postures, bending, asses, legs, shoes, gestures, suggestions, make-up, fed up faces, police stations. Prostitutes the individuals and persons, strength, misery, injustice, choice, fast lived life, death which somehow is around the corner. In my mind there is an image of unshameful femininity and not at all defeated, but standing on high heels. To me it seems I am not alone with this. They, those women, hookers are well represented in our culture, talked about, shouted out, shouted at. We are curious about those beings who sell their bodies. Generally prostitutes are seen the lowest of the low, victims and drug users and in this country hookers are not visible other than in movies and on TV. So they as people are kind of real life imaginary creatures, secrets and whispers, forbidden and wanted. In movies prostitute is a common character. They light up the police station and the dark alley, brothels are colorful hideaways where people can anonymously get whipped.

Whores are interesting people to whom happen things that normal working people may not face. The ordinary and normal can be appalled by it. Prostitutes look like fairy tales, fairy tale figures, fantasies themselves fulfilling fantasies of others. It is terrible to call someone a whore. It is terrible to end up a whore against will of one’s own. Much is emphasized on the horror of prostitution, brutality of sex trade. Abolishing the business hardly is possible, hypocrisy on the other hand makes lives of prostitutes difficult. Contradiction is curious as I see prostitutes are much imitated in entertainment, fashion photography = advertising. Dangerous living is a luring image, a fantasy which is the imitated possession of prostitutes, their wealth, a lifestyle.

It is something we need to have and be all the time at constant conflict with ourselves.

28 heinäkuun, 201430 tammikuun, 2019 | Henna Timanttimetsä

We need reassurance that we are beautiful and worthy as we are and yes people need to be told that they are worthy, needed and meaningful. But it seems we do not know how to appreciate originality and personal appearance enough in a world where nothing is enough. It is a task for women’s magazines and zillions of websites targeted at women to make women feel good about themselves as they are incapable in convincing themselves. It is a question of comparison and thinking that the other has things better than me. A sign of low self-esteem and culture that is filled with hate against difference. Fear of sticking out and abandonment is present. It is a horror stage play of bullies and those who are scared of being left alone and want to believe in pleasing tactics. We seek to be similar to those who get the attention and are adored because of their outer beauty which fits the standards set. Ultimate desirable teenage dream of finding a perfect fuck buddy, flawlessness which is close to nothing in the end. The scare of losing, being defeated and put down keep us going and never grow up. Perfection is someone to own and show off, to conquer like a piece of land and property. It is so much easier to perceive a person as an object and treat people as such. To grow beyond that requires emotional and intellectual effort which can be painful and revealing our weakness. One who is afraid of oneself in the process is not going to change. Those cowards are many who stay unable to face themselves. It is very different to alter your outer self than your inner mind. A learning process which is very lonely and insecure scares the shit out of people. And what can be found or discovered and will anything change eventually for better can raise doubts. It is to live on chance.

What is it to actually charm anyone? Do you charm yourself?

”Learn the art of Charm & Cheek: Kitty Cavalier’s School of Charm & Cheek is for women who want to learn how to reclaim those two elements as a source of power and to know themselves more deeply and intimately. She explains that Charm is the sensation of pleasing or delight, and Cheek is endearingly irreverent. They’re the Ying & Yang of living a really fun & joyous life. Too much charm can be cute & pretty but you always need a little cheek”. – See more at: http://www.elisemcdowell.com/2013/06/how-to-love-your-flaws-and-adore-your-body.html#sthash.ox7s83m3.dpuf
http://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/842543/5-body-flaws-that-are-beautiful

Writing enraged, furiously, following the drama of mankind. Don’t mix hate for anger. One is allowed to be angry, why not allow hate? There are similarities in terms of negative feelings and deeds, but hate is to destroy.

29 huhtikuun, 20147 maaliskuun, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

Maybe the ways of revealing and stating hate, hate against the opposite, against the weak, different. Hate against for whatever reason are more multiple and more out in the open than ever before. Therefore I conclude that the amount of hate possibly has not increased, but the ways of getting heard and noticed are more diverse, constantly variable and accessible and those who have strong views on how world should be constructed are loud.

I have to think about this, because this is about emotions which rule how we behave. I too say I hate something and I can enjoy for saying it. But in the end I do not enjoy hating. It eats me up if I feel hate. Rage is a leading force in me still. It is dangerous and delightful. What are the distinctive differences what comes to emotions?

For those who have no one

19 huhtikuun, 20147 maaliskuun, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

Love is always there in the air. It is there to be grabbed. As much as one can, but does one grab air, what is there. Persuasion, seduction, grabbing, taking, touching, trying to get hold of it, the feeling and own it, because it feels good.
It is a cruel thing to say, in a way, it is up to you.
To think, that affection, trust and caring would be available like a natural resource. They are, in a way,
natural and seen as human behavior to care. Is it to take advantage, ferociously, demanding one to flourish.
In a way, to love is an invented game of survival, complex plan of wanting to be wanted. Something to master and know, but still fail at it. Not be defeated by it. There is no direct path to get what one wants.
Something we are born to do constantly is want. What is to have no one? Who is one, anyone to have?
I am. I have me.

Sadism. How much do we approve of it?

19 huhtikuun, 20147 maaliskuun, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

How much do we notice, and where does the line go? Is sadism there and here because we need to test how much someone can take or to test ourselves what we can do? Line is important. A measurement of pushing, of going over, of knowing what not to do.

Stand up for yourself

14 maaliskuun, 20145 maaliskuun, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

The constant search for acceptance ends at some point. It ends when there is nothing else received but disapproval, contempt, sadness and disappointment. Fundamental question is what is there to give? What do we give each other? It is a moment of complete realization of randomness, selfishness, something to gain and coincidence. What is good, what is ill, which one to choose and why. Only thing one can do is not to fail oneself. It is that I am my best friend and the only person to take care of me. This person who is me knows what I can do. So why seek any approval when there is none to be found. Everything is for sale but me. Something is finished at that point when I stand up for myself, when need to be loved by someone else does not guide me and what I do. End of being on mercy of anyone. It is to accept randomness and irrationality of life, human mind, emotions and lunacy of our deeds, but also understanding that I can make a difference. Those things I cannot control stay there, if I can’t control anything it is a dead-end. What I decide to think and do still has meaning. Do I wish to do good or do I wish to do ill and how random those choices are. How much do our emotions guide what we do is important to take into consideration. Humans are by nature active in making and by seeing what we have accomplished we can appreciate ourselves. Where does narcissism begin and where does it end?

I ride the wave that is what I do

14 helmikuun, 20145 maaliskuun, 2018 | Henna Timanttimetsä

It is difficult to point to direction of those smooth guys and place the blame on clean-looking, polite and correctly behaving politicians on a red carpet waving (not carrying guns, but image of a gun is upon them, built-in their moves). The act of correctness has immense impact, a trained performance on media stage, an imitation of certain kind of hygienic perfection. Forming perfect sentences, speaking in tone, well-chosen, friendly, amusing, joking and funny. Funniness appeals (is that why they joke on set or is it to hide something), verbal seduction and smelling good. Interesting is the connection between amiable smell and words said. It is part of politeness to create light atmosphere. Our senses, traditions, make-believe and biases are in an important role when focusing on and using stereotypes and how stereotypes got made, how they live and create our world. That is what stereotypes do strongly and strangely; create what we see, want to see and hear, and we creating stereotypes again in return, giving back the received filth ignoring truth. Prejudices being translations and rendition of the unchanged melody.