How to be

I can think what is the most important thing for me to be, well there are many. Then there is society’s pressure to think for me which is pretty powerful  (well, people around tend to do the judging more than society as a structure actually) and which pressure is the main reason for all identity and self issues people are having. What society can ask people to be and how them to live must be to be decent, respectful, making and thinking individual, what else as there seems to be constant turbulence especially concerning how women are viewed, treated, how they treat each other and themselves. Problematic of pleasing, fitting in, doing the right thing, being the right kind of person sound like juggling and a very narrow spot to live in. It is interesting how we can now have and knowingly take position of creating a self-therapeutic nonstop flow in public and share all what we will and feel good about it as all people around tend to do similar kind of sharing of private life moments, problems, thoughts, worries etc and we get feedback for doing this sharing. Most important thing is to find the strength to be exactly who you want to be and not what other people push you to be. Confessional writing is important in this regard as we notice that there are so many people who struggle with the very same issues. To find this out is a surprise as is the fact of how long it can take to grow up, how much one can learn and change, in other words stand on your own meaning know what you want and go after that, not after what someone else wants you to be and do.

http://www.newrepublic.com/article/122840/confessional-writing-feminist?utm_content=bufferf982a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=bufferOur culture loves to gawk at the ugly side of women—to peer at stars without their makeup and publish their un-Photoshopped images, to put women’s looks under a microscope until every blemish surfaces. ”
http://www.eater.com/2015/9/15/9326775/the-kitchen-of-the-future-has-failed-usThere are a few easy answers to that question. The people who are in charge of designing the future right now are a homogenous group. Futurism, as a field, is dominated by men: two-thirds of the roster of the Association of Professional Futurists is male, as is 77 percent of the World Future Society’s. And it’s no secret that the technology industry, the other field generating many of these futures, is struggling with gender inclusivity as well.”

http://www.counterpunch.org/2015/09/16/ecuador-vs-chevron-by-way-of-canada/

 

Missing person

Kompani

In good company? That’s good, good for you, you are saved. Whatever good company means as it means different things for everybody. People who agree with you, who think like you, who share the same values as you, do the same things in life as you do, speak about the same things, are appalled when good people are appalled? It would be interesting if that kind of people could be found who completely agree and do not differ, you know what I mean? So you want to be safe? You want to feel accepted, connect, laugh and belong in harmony. It is tiring to find out that you do not belong anywhere, that anywhere you go you are rejected because of what you look like, what you stand for (it can be decided by others what you stand for just like that). It is tiring to be ultra careful about what you say because offence is something we are afraid of (we should not hurt anyone’s feelings especially if those anyones have power and lots of friends), careful what you look like, what you might want of other people if anything other than kindness. From other people we usually want something, this is the presumption. We are needy, endlessly. That others are for us, are you  there for them? People tend to conduct their thoughts without knowing better because they have taken the right to know more than they do. It is weird to notice that people create illusions so easily and without hesitation, without second thought pass their thoughts on as facts. How do you change an image of you that you did not make, it lives on without you and makes walls around you. By creating a gossip of myself I truly test what people are ready to do against someone they do not know. Not accompanied but on your own?

People talk without thinking and think they are thinking, have been thinking before they speak is self-evidence, before they speak to someone who listens and reacts they have been listening and reaction is to speak about what they have heard. To think that speaking equals well thought thinking, that speaking and making verbal noise equal intellect, that to be social is having a lot of friends who accept you as you are and making talk with those people, communicating, teaming up, uniting. Those who do not do the same are stupid, outsiders, dissidents, wrongdoers, far away. To live a lie, make a lie and think it is true, lie that becomes true when you speak it is too normal as is to think you are absolutely correct and those others are below you. When you want to hurt someone you do not know do you think there could be something wrong with you? When all you do is hurt you are thinking you are doing what is right, can you tell me what is it all about, and you are entitled to do what you do? It is a curious way to see people and your part among people when you think you are superior.

 

Angel baby

Bodies online

Are you thinking what I am thinking or do you just think you know what I am thinking and decided to think the same or make your judgment of me just because you think you know what I am thinking? What a dilemma of what to think.

Making phenomenon of thinking and saying what you think difficult. No I don’t think it is me. I say what I think and what I say is provoking. People get very easily provoked which has led me thinking why is that. I actually kind of like what I say. Result of having provoked is mind-blowing, mind-boggling, exciting or disappointing, anyhow telling. But anyway I have to go the issue of thoughts through bit by bit, level by level. It is a difficult subject of how we think, not to speak of how we think we think, how we think others think, why and outcome of what. You know what I mean, getting to the core of thought getting born, being made and evolving from that tiny spark.
Very basic method of making information is you think you know the topic or the person you talk about even though you have probably even met that person or studied the subject or you haven’t asked what that person thinks or haven’t questioned information given to you because the info is so tempting to use for your selfish reasons and your source talks like he/she thinks he/she knows what he/she is talking about. Know better.
I myself am getting lost in human deduction and deception, lost in difference between knowing something and ignorance, world of thinking we know and learning new ways to think, unlearning, refusal to learn and understand. Persistent refusal of admitting mistakes, admitting a new method would be better than what is in use, mistakes in thinking, clear delusional thinking reigning and ways of seeing other people in bad light which for example ever so strengthening far-right movement is doing, also which academics tend easily do as there is strong belief in being absolutely correct and a strong hierarchy of knowing what is right, what is right information, what to know and whom to believe. Do you say out loud what you are thinking or do you censor the worst crap, the most flammable, the not-so-secure things to say, improper, hurtful things or are you having a pseudonym to protect your identity so you can say whatever you like without having to face the consequences? How do we manipulate thoughts of ours and thoughts of others is strangely a very big issue concerning how the world becomes to be. There are things we are permitted to say aloud, common courtesy and politeness prohibit us from doing what might be offensive. Our position in society, gender, age, education, interests and knowledge dictate some of what we can say, what we come up with to say and can have a conversation about. There are things you would not dare to say to someone because it would hurt feelings and damage your relationship with that person and maybe with other people. Still problem of thinking you know, conclusions based on assumptions and passing those conclusions as facts is pretty obvious. Maliciousness and sarcasm can hurt but both especially sarcasm has social task to perform. Not saying out loud to the face but making innuendos and mockery make either catharsis or create hate but make explosive situations just as anger does in a space where anger is not permitted. It is not allowed to be angry in public, we would draw too much attention.
How do we become to think what to make of anything? Society which is built on values, mechanisms of thinking, roles and behavioral patterns help quite a bit in how and what to think. How do we think in a factory can be circulating. We make something out of something we have, or make something out of nothing to have something. Options are still there and somewhat limitless. In a world of self-evident such questions sound stupid because we are thinking in a certain way and making something all the time is a contemporary habit. Quite a lot we do out of habit of doing and thinking. What to do as a humanist is to think, sit and think, not to do all the time (it is the best way to pass the time as is not to think, but not to think at all is not advised). We can clear our minds and consciously not think but be. When we think we are thinking we may not be thinking at all, it is possible, has happened. The impossibility of thinking thoroughly is a common flaw as is incapability of seeing differently. How about doing something that has a seemingly useless result? It is as necessary as it is to fail. I have had a long time a method of doing things completely wrong in my art. After having done many times wrong something interesting appears. When we think too hard we do not get good results because there is too much pressure (thinking the same old same or something entirely new, how does it happen? How much do fear and stress have to do with not allowing thoughts to happen and move on from old to new, to progress, old can be more progressive than new, it can be better than progress that is seen as new..), when we are clearly thinking but we do not know what we are thinking because we are not able to verbalize (so I draw it, find a way to be understood, I scribble, I collect trash, packages and used items and throw them away) it so that others would understand (for me to understand myself is important, as it is good for you to understand yourself) or take it seriously to listen and be bothered? What is interesting for modern person to think is are IQs dropping which is the question much asked lately. Those IQs. It’s a test. Well are they? We are obsessed with intelligence and it meaning the highest standard of human effort and technical quality, achievement and winning.
This is serious, this is funny, this is nothing, this is something, what is this. I really do not understand why there has to be a joke in the middle of a speech, but that is just me. Intelligence manifested in the way we present ourselves hardly stands for intelligence nor it does qualify likability per se. Kindness qualifies, curiosity qualifies. Making the topic lighter is not good thinking when topic is heavy and repetition is a story of not knowing your own way to making a statement and believing it to be interesting. In a factory-like society there are rules to be followed which make a stupid society. There are ways to say, serious and less serious, serious is not always the best. We want to find the best solution, don’t we. We can speak alone and think in solitude but we do need a partner to battle those thoughts. Do we think the thoughts we are supposed to have gender-wise, in terms of age following what a person of some age is supposed to be doing, knowing and thinking, origin-wise Russians think differently than Americans and are very different? What are we supposed, assumed to think and do eventually can get peculiar forms of oppression and social pressure, do we think the same at all and when do we begin to read each other’s minds? Getting paranoid or learning to cope in society and to survive when we do not have the courage to do otherwise or ways of making get strained and bound when there is no escape?
We don’t think colors the same, we all have taste of our own, dreams and hopefully opinions of our own. In this scenario we do have originality, all have unique thoughts, but do we dare to think originally and speak it or say just thoughts of someone else who is a known original, legitimized original thinker? Are there thoughts that cannot be questioned, uniqueness that is more unique or just unique after unique after unique that cannot be compared, put a price on? Cultural progress is dependent on those who dare to question everything.
What makes us think can be seen an individual process up to a point, a chain reaction, chemical, physiological, biological individual human act, as much as we are individual. There must be personal interest to provoke thought. Animals obviously do think but we do not know what they are thinking, so it is an unknown territory for the most part. It is a thought that animals are not as rational as humans, logical and sensible. This gets tricky. Logic is so many times lost from people and poorly understood I dare to question logic of people. You do not know what a creature is thinking does not mean creature does not think, this goes for people as well. Also those who seemingly think may not actually have a worthwhile contribution. Act of thinking for yourself is and has been seen a dangerous process, chain of events: thoughts that make us do, that make others do and think the same way. Part of any serious thinking individual is important as is of those who join that thinking person and challenge him or her. We are thinking because we just are, because we just are, unstoppable, more or less, and we do not understand most of the process of thinking but we think, we don’t have to know why but we would like to. That is an existential question: we think and we are therefore. We do not know the brain enough to say we know someone’s brain. We think to make. We make conversation to make union, to make a difference, we speak to be heard to become seen individuals and this social act is usually important for all people in some way. We become seen when we speak out.
Silent ones may go unnoticed. It does not mean they agree. Meaning of silence is that it is not meaningless and it is not nothing, silence is not empty. But it is seen a form of subjugation and unthinking, a place for the deserted. To understand nonverbal communication can be easier for a silent person who tends to observe. To lack natural stamina and credibility to fit in may be a strength in making something new. Women have been denied speaking aloud and they still do hinder themselves, place themselves to the background and as decorations. They speak of different things and speak differently compared to men, personal and public issues make interesting division, how to speak in public in other way than formally is agreeable. How differently do women speak then, with soft voice, viciously, too kindly? It is a credibility issue for women to speak for a crowd of men for example, a daring issue. Do women have credibility as women, why wouldn’t they? Do women have to fight for credibility in front of group of men who team up together against one woman, team up against artists, feminists, leftists, animal and human rights activists? Women are compelled to imitate male manners of acting out to have authority. Size, stature, tone and base of voice play their part. Imitation game tend to make us all alike to make us likable according to what we like in a person. When we only want things and people to be liked around we build a space in which we can speak of only likable things, speak that does not do much but keep the bubble intact is useless for progress.
We speak out when we are powerful, when we are given opportunity. We also must speak when we are not given opportunity, we must have will power to think we can takeover spaces of speech, we have decided to take the stand, to influence and be of some opinion to show we are thinking and taking part. There is danger in taking part depending what you stand for and who you are, who is against you, where you come from and what kind of values and people are behind you, are you alone or not. Dilemmas of modern individuals who have lots to think about because it is a complex world of ideas wanted to make look simpler than it is, people should have lots to think about but are not doing the thinking because it is demanding, hard work, not necessary, annoying, too dangerous, not interesting, not entertaining enough and too much to ask because why bother your life is not under threat. You may think you do not come with ideas of your own anyway so you follow someone who thinks and speaks for you. Never choose the easiest way.

To think why society exists, state has citizens and society is for them

If art is seen as mechanical part of society with duty to fill, money to make with, interior to decorate, glory to have by there will be those who will oppose it, artists who will challenge such system of good and bad, winners and losers, rich and poor, laborers and profit makers. An artist as someone who has to make art to fit the system is selling cheap, to fill in requirements given to make art suitable there will be something left out, unseen and forgotten. Why people do art, why there is need for art, what kind of art do we want to make and to what kind of need does it answer, who defines what is art and who is the artist. These questions will be asked over and over again as there is a system that makes it compulsory to find the grande artist, value art as possession, as there is system that makes profit via art often without the artist. Sometimes it seems art is valued but artists are not as people who also need to be paid for their work. In capitalism we do not live to make charity, to make other people rich, give value to institutions, cities and countries.

Is demand for equality absurd? I don’t think it has been. It is perfectly reasonable.

We should demand equal rights, equal treatment, equal pay. It means human rights for all, dignity, which can’t be repeated enough. Does this mean when a woman hits a man with her fist, the man should answer with fists? To me equality is when I feel I am mistreated I can say what I think about it. I have a right to give back and find justice for myself. Answering violence with violence isn’t the kind of equality I seek, balancing the amount of hits and injuries really does not bring happiness in the end. When one is in an underdog position bullied by lots of people without much chance to defend oneself, options may seem scarce. How to find an ally for example in a work place where you are only female, should you really fit in, imitate men, become butch to look tough, agree with everything, say nothing and just do your job? I myself only thought it would be hugely ridiculous for me to try be something I am not just to please others so that nothing would change in the world of men and at the work place where workers usually are men. There is an enormous pressure to fit in at work, at school just as if we did not mature from infancy when we seemingly grow up and become adults. To mature and become wise demand brain work, guidance and will to know more.

Just to add teaming up against one person is probably the most pathetic way of getting back at someone, it is not getting even it is to completely break that one person. To me it has happened several times. It has made me think I truly have something that make people tick. I provoke merely by appearance, by wanting to do things out of the box, being interested in things women maybe are not supposed to or are not normally interested in and just trying out. Yes I also say provocative things which to me are not provocative at all but need to be said. For example I said once at work when I did welding that you should be afraid gays they will attack you with pink tanks. I thought it was funny but it was offensive. Just to say gay is a red cloth for some people and so is woman who welds intimidating. (I am mostly quiet about my views at work to avoid trouble.) Open-mindedness is not common, you know, nor is sense of humour.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/11857210/Lawyer-who-shamed-barrister-over-sexist-LinkedIn-email-believes-men-make-workplaces-a-repugnant-world.html“When women enter the male realm whether law, politics, or a construction site, they find themselves in a repugnant world in which their only means of survival is by undergoing a fundamental transformation leaving them with little opportunity to make any change.” If men and women were truly equal, she said, “men’s genitals would be sliced up” in the same way that some women are subjected to female genital mutilation (FGM).

She added: “Equality is harmful to women and most men, as they are required to replicate behaviours that are degrading and dehumanising.””

Appearance oriented world and can it be fixed.

World is to be fixed in a manner that women and men whatever they may look like would be appreciated for their personas, their work, for themselves as whole individuals.

How does this happen this fixing, would of course be a matter of conscious learning and acknowledging priorities. What do we appreciate in people and what they do, what is important to pay attention to. If our priorities are looks, posing, clothes and accessories, possessions etc. we can complement people for those things and they can probably feel good about themselves for a while. This kind of situation is the one to pay attention to for the reason of what do we value in other people. If you are about to compliment an artist, talk about the work of that artist, art in general, or scientist who is a woman, it is absolutely vital to pay attention to the work of that person. I myself do not like to pose in front of my work which is usually asked for an artist to do. I like to talk about issues concerning my work and why I do what I do. It is a strange way to present art as a trophy and an artist on pedestal. Such is a relic of a culture which I wish to be changed. Yes people want to know what the artist looks like, maybe we could start change that culture of adoring an image of a person. It is difficult to explain why this is important otherwise than via personal experience where me as a woman artist am not acknowledged as an artist because of my work, which for me is the most important thing I do in my life. This is also difficult to understand as you do not know me and I am not going to tell you my history, but when I tell you that my work is my most precious thing should believe it. When you want to compliment my photographs do not compliment my camera. You do not compliment my pencil for my drawings, I hope you do not. It is a conscious decision that you make to what things you pay attention and think other should pay attention to too.

So when I say I do not wish to be photographed, don’t argue and say that all artists do this and we do this way as it is always done this way. I have my way, you respecting that I appreciate. All other artists do what fuck they like obviously.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/10/compliments-tinder-charlotte-proudman-offended?CMP=share_btn_tw