SurpriSe!

() bling bling

It’s a Girl!

Lucky sperm club and loads of fun? Do you have a choice and how much do you care? I would like to call out for responsibility for one’s own actions. Responsibility carry the person herself. Abortion is a very serious operation not just physically but mentally, and it is about taking or giving life. It is a tough decision to make. Blame and shame do not make it easier nor illegality of the operation.

How many people are born out of accidental pregnancies, sudden one night stands, rapes, lust, horniness, unplanned fun, irresponsibility and abuse or whatever. Are there people who are unwanted? It sounds terrible that there are or would be children that are not wanted. What kind of life is there without love and care? How is pregnancy an accident is of course somehow always, because we cannot never be absolutely sure when and how it happens, moment of making life. Is pregnancy still something people cannot avoid from happening? Is it responsibility of women to take care of, be it contraception or abortion or providing for the offspring. That is how it often goes. The blame, guilt, worries, care and loving are things women carry and give. It is a matter of chance and a pretty random event to be conceived, to become a human being and it is lucky, luck, as it is misery, sadness, boredom, difficulty and all that. And then yet to become a parent to which many are not prepared, ready for or able.

It is curious the thought how we like to see ourselves as designed and planned individuals, that we all have our part and place. Is it a shame to be born without being planned? Is accident even a good word to use. Hopefully loved and wanted, but not designed nor ordered. Accurately made, proper clean, planned standard mankind would be dull and without variety. Still what comes to how women use their bodies is up to women themselves, whatever the mess. It is difficult to plan how life goes.

Sex and consequences are lovely or less lovely. Can baby be a mistake, failure? Like heavy burden of being born. Strange questions, still they are very real.

ehWhat?

#titsytitsy

Running scared or hiding? What are the things you want to change and why? How to pursue change?

Words to be feared extremism, far right and far left. Anything that goes towards borders and over, chaos disturbing peaceful structure and strategy of class, gender and ethnicity. Do words make us fear, or is it just the deeds, PR, illusions and imagination? Words explaining what happened, what happens, what will happen. We have to do this and that in order to be well, that all of the world would be in balance, in calm. Complexity of multiple choices and chain reactions is what we are having. How scary is radical or extremism? Where does the limit go? What is too much to tolerate depends on how strict the society’s moral and behavioral codes are. Is radicalism a question of how far one is willing to go to achieve one’s goals, what kind of goals one is capable of having or plainly choosing what is right thing to do? What is my right? Extremism somehow always connects with hurt and revenge, blindness and death. Radicalism is forceful measure pushing one’s agenda forward with power, passion and anger.

What is the force of radical feminism is determination and devotion, hopefully without fanaticism and bigotry. Feminism as a word itself is radical. It began radical and stays so and as the movement is in the marginal with prejudiced shadows hanging over heavily, objection is obvious and visible, but still incomprehensible. To say I am a radical feminist is a heavy statement. It gets people on their toes showing where they stand. Radical is an aggressive word. The more media makes us scared of getting radical, the more society marginalizes those who seek change. Society wanting us feeling happy at the brink of destruction. Change is going to be slow, destruction painful and inevitable. Radical nowadays is to think for yourself and invent your way. How much radicalism involves violence is a question of mostly violence used by society towards the radical. How much violence is enough to bear? How can we fight against oppression, manipulation, fascism and abuse? To be nonviolent is my choice and I wish it to be so for other radicals. To be better than the violent bastards who want to put us down. Be creative and never let them defeat you! Perseverance is the radical.

Mitä ajattelin ja mitä en/What Did I Think And Didn’t, 2010 paper, gouache, rubberband 19*38cm

paperi, guassi, kuminauha, 2010

What kind of fear there is now in the world? Is it the same as ever? Do the reasons to be afraid change and do our responses get more progressive or more aggressive? Do we attack or just wait and see what happens?

Atmosphere of fear is almost touchable. Our means and ways of survival have probably become narrow even though our world is full and wide. We like to stay narrow-minded and inside a comfort zone, keep unwanted outside. There are strange contradictions there. We like to pose knowledgeable and guard our territory well. We like act to civilized, but we also practice fascist hygiene order. Yes fascist. Do not let anyone rock the boat or cause a stir. Strangers are scary, homeless and mentally ill are frightening. To me this poses atmosphere of threat, isolation and war, which we have had for decades, now realizing itself politically, environmentally and economically and is a personal burden for everyone, at least should be. Some carry heavier piles than others. How can anyone go and be untouched or unconcerned by the situation that the world is in? How can you float and bitch about minor details. State of the world is not only every government’s burden, it is every citizen’s load and concern.

For me there are many question, the same as probably the most of us wonder, I hope. Is it something new at all, the recession, which never ends or which is not one but many and repeat close by each other. What will come out of this downfall? Is a moral decline something we can do anything about?

Courage in this picture, is to be against. Resist!

People who are scared to face themselves.

My goodness what a topic! I don’t know where to begin. Only this: to begin with the experience of blame, shame and fear. How people can be so afraid of being exposed of what they truly are. What is a true person anyway and how much do we live in lie? Basic emotions interest me. They are so much what we are and make. I go through the scale of feelings over and over, fear especially. They are me, they are what I make and they make me. The most basic, fundamental is fear. Fear of losing, fear of dying, losing face, opportunities, dead-ends. There must be a way to solve this, I think. It is quite a long list of things one can be afraid of. Things that are mostly about survival. Are we surviving?

The experience of guilt, that there is something wrong, but what. It must be her, it cannot be me. How it must be the girl who has something to be called a disturbed mind. Maybe only because one is an artist. That can be a reason enough to suspect that something is wrong with that person. The one who stands out of the crowd. There is something wrong with the person who does not belong. There is nothing wrong with the crowd. They do belong and they stay safe as long as they play their part. They agree with each other or the image of each other. 

People who are scared to reveal how fucked up they really are. That something that breaks normality, codes of interaction, rules and silent hierarchies. What is it to face yourself really? Do you know yourself?

Place all your bets on that horse

It is mathematical perfection, magical measurements,
vintage crystals on her harness mark her worth,
mark the everything she has felt,
little fake, little truth,  little needle, little fingers and white thread putting it all together as one glimmering dress. Prize horse, override and buzz, running meat, galloping gown sewn in this  first world vehicle and room like a carriage with anticipation and hope with good night sleep. Wagon of a gypsy who is happy for she has got her valuables in her hands.

What is to wait and wait and wait and when one gets the thing one has waited for, what becomes out of that process of reaching out and having reached out and having.