What is belief, what is devotion, what is the will to live.

Essential problematic of living is how one despite difficulties, heartache and other turmoil brought upon most everybody, one is capable of finding possibilities within oneself? I can speak for myself.  Despite what anybody says you alone must know what you want to do, you must learn to know who you are.
I have consciously learned to be in every moment not looking for the next moment like living the future as now, but living the now as worth while happening and learned to appreciate this moment. And why is this important?

Funfair

 

 

Puta madre conceptual garden sub specie aeternitatis, where every deed happens.

Truth is a bitch.  Say the truth and you will be smacked around.
out-of-place, naturally dislocated
Nymphaea looked for her earring on living room floor carpet. She said she has bad eyes. Great Horned Owl in her, in her bra was tightly pressured against her skin. Wanted to study her pressure marks, sunken bloodless steps on her, leaps of red. I thought it must have hurt to wear such bra. To wear underwear she did shaping her form. She always had a nightgown for me with a cartoon figure. I loved her furniture. She hung her jewelry on corners of her dressing table with oval shape mirror. Smelling her bottles. Her sheets, her plastic pearls, her things, her and valuables, details, piles of magazines. Hers, language of her. I looked for it through her hanging clothes sitting on the floor. I poured everything that was in the box on the floor.
 
language of clichés
language of beauty
language of trauma
language of banality
language of architecture
language of aggression
language of being a child
language of being alive
language of acting out
language of close
language of an old woman
language of dust
language of turquoise 

I had a thought, couple of words. It was perfect couple of words.

and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and now and then I started to feel anxious and I said I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry to explain what this is, I probably should, it is when you repeat a couple of words multiple times out loud they begin to sound something else and you see the letters in your mind and begin to wonder what do they mean and what does it actually mean when I repeat what I just repeated

Big Bang Chills

She is quite a girl. You should see her take her clothes off.

jos

Douple door deluxe; what it is to give your all

rethinking
everything how I do, do all over again, look for new things all the time

Atmosphere of suspicion, hurt and ill is a curious gap between people voluntarily kept alive to make people fall down. Jealous competition of survival.

Master of other people’s minds, royal gelatin hour taking baths drinking coke, everybody is drinking kuka kula because it is good for you. Try water. Try hunger. Try running. Try not to take orders. Try go fuck yourself. Energy budgets of organisms taken for granted, our enjoyment, our need for pleasure and need to avoid any pain, pain of learning, exercising, walking, studying. I am tired of lies and smiles, of reaching out for possessions and wealth like it would be the dearest of goals in life. Tired of need to fit in. Tired of hearing my way of living is out of the ordinary and something unexpected. Of hearing what you should do but you did not because you are too lazy of changing your habits. Cycles of self-destruction, of not knowing what to do. There is plenty to do, it is waiting to be done.