When we focus on feminism and women’s rights men are in many ways in important role in making change happen.

To rebel and make havoc

| Henna Timanttimetsä
What are the institutions and authorities that need to be made understand power of people? Aren’t they the same institutions that deny power from people, who make us feel we do not have the kind of power needed? Institutions that are and stay corrupt, make decisions from a delusional shell without having understanding or interest in what is going on outside that sheltered shield of bourgeoisie comfort, buddies who promote each other, support each other’s causes and think they are doing good because they are smiling. Especially important rebellion is when people themselves are made believe they do not have power, when they are scared and future seems endlessly horrible and hopeless. Every action that is out-of-order becomes meaningful when people are afraid to behave out-of-order manner, are afraid of being stigmatized and left outside. To be left outside can be devastating and it can be a relief. One can think one is left with nothing if one thinks one is nothing. It can be powerful experience itself to understand how that nothing becomes something. A place where one can learn to understand what power lies outside and inside oneself, within outsider position from where one can say the unsayable and do against freely, finding out what doing freely is. One stops being afraid of loneliness, hurt, cold and darkness, unlearning community pressure and lure of money, unlearning dictatorship of money. It is a place of innovation. We are so obedient that we stay silent when we should be shouting, we should be doing something instead of watching and standing by as destructive forces rule and do damage which is difficult or impossible to repair. There are people who have infinite belief in their power and correctness of their cause that they become blind to anything else.
Actually what Bush comments is pretty impressive.
 
Biggest issue of all in making change are people themselves, those people who get offended when their views are contradicted and questioned. The same people who think their power is in not changing, in believing the way of life they are grown into is holy, healthy and thereby correct. There are people who need to be made understand power of theirs and also powerlessness which lies in thinking we are made to live like our parents and follow the same path as consumers, workers and citizens. Power of consuming, moving, thinking, acting out, pretending, playing roles and power of working people is in thinking they do not have power other than that of an individual in ready-made society and playing it safe. How every decision we make have consequences is something we fail to believe as important. We are horrified by disasters but to acknowledge our culture as destructive on individual level is still slow and we are unwilling to see it, lazy to change our behavior. The consequences are severe and close by, they can be far away geographically so we do not sense them, they are not our concern as the smell is not in our noses. It is not irrelevant what we do and do not do. It is not meaningless we do not say and act against oppression, act against bad decision-making and think about our action in everyday life. Our comfort should be threatened because otherwise it will be too late to do anything.
What kind of power do people living in slums have? Is it the same kind of power than that of people who live in the suburbs have? Do we feel as powerless, unhappy and alone or are people in slums having advantages people who take care of their own businesses in suburb don’ t have? When people work together it is powerful and changes happen fast, issue is how people can be made to work together to benefit quality of life in general. Community has to want the same kind of change and believe it is possible. To organize such action needs an effort from above, by authority which is not corrupt and works for the people not for authority. Authority exists for community to work properly from below and on grassroot level. Meaning of administration and law is to make society just and orderly not corrupt and criminal.
People living in destitution without education without means to make their lives better maybe give up and wait other people to give a hand as those who have it better should. People who are weak because they are burdened by unnecessary every day struggle which could be easily helped, for people to feed themselves, find shelter and work can be tasks which take all energy. How can the poor better lives themselves when tools for climbing up are either taken away, non-existent, costly, when rest of the society does not care how they manage? When rest of the society is building fences and fancy apartment buildings for those who have money to pay. When money which is meant to help the poor flows into pockets of administrators and crooks? How do the impoverished feel year after year seeing the same shit happen and situation of theirs not changing for the better even though there are charities and Western helpers having their fancy projects? How should they feel is angry. How can they better lives behind fences when everything has a price tag and to live in a certain neighborhood is a stigma, a stench and a shadow, tourists wanting to take pictures. When owning stuff is your worth, when only when you can show off with luxury and look fly with possessions you are treated like a human being perspective into living and valuing life are greedy and an ongoing habit of mind. All that one has to get fast. What kind of values and deeds will make the poor rise up from their situation? As I understand crime is and has been the way up. Destitute areas are infested with crime and filth. We of course are worried how traumatised children will get, how early will they grow up, will they get their education and have dreams to reach out for.

Yes we are worried how things look and we have to do something. mostly we are patching up leaks giving instant relief. What does the surface of things look like, what is it and how we react to it? Lots of money flows, scandals are revealed. Money is what makes things happen in a certain way but we do not need a lot of cash to repair the broken core issues that need to be repaired and are necessary to live a dignified life, still there is a lot of money somewhere circulating. What does it do?

 

Really really

| Henna Timanttimetsä
What is the problem when gazing opposite sex is normal, as it is, fun for some and unavoidable? Things perceived as normal can be wrong despite the normalcy. Sense of norms that bind us together and down that are there for reasons which maybe don’t apply anymore, reasons that keep us struggling against norm society, bias and unjust behavior. What is normal does not mean it is right and should not be changed. If one cannot help oneself, what is there to hope for. The extent, manner of approach which can be monotonously aggressive and unpleasant. Problematic is the position other person is viewed, from which point of view one is looked at and as what that other person is seen. What that view is meant to be and signal. Is it a signal to other men, not to women that much, that the man gazing is sexually active, straight and ready to have sex, has eye for female beauty? The gaze is to state a true man, manhood and virility. Gazes gazed.

 

 

Male logic? a woman= a human being= a person with thoughts and feelings. I wish.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

How do you explain the concept of good manners to someone who does not understand good manners way you do? Animals have more understanding of manners and kindness than people. There are many kinds of good manners for people obviously and the manners women are supposed to accept as nice are often not those. There are different manners for men and women. Women are more to be subjects, subservient under rule self-evidently. The unwritten behavioral code is a straitjacket where women do not speak or only about things that are appropriate, act feminine, they are supposed to be afraid (girls are taught to be afraid) and they are, they are not supposed to object or disagree, show anger, to differ from mainstream of what is considered feminine. Punishment is immediate for women who disobey. I myself have been seen difficult because I have shown my anger and disagreement quite loudly. Woman’s anger is either laughable or contemptible. There is something wrong with her not in the surroundings. One more reason to like myself and any woman who is loud. Be able to verbally and vocally tell one’s thoughts is a sign of respect and show of will to want to change things. I respect myself therefore I say what I have in mind when something needs to be said and you have respect when you listen and vise versa. Although silence can do the same. Difficulty of communication of what, when, why, to whom etc.

That there is a complete misunderstanding of what is polite and how to apply politeness into real world of very different people and ways to see the world is a puzzling dilemma that seems impossible to solve. What people want and how they want/take what they want, especially of and from other people is at the heart of this problem between us. Problem in the world is the constant desire of people and how to fulfill needs of people. We live to desire. What are we entitled to have and what is ours without needing to justify it? There can be the obvious possessions that belong to every people: human rights, dignity, freedom of speech, right to privacy for example.

It is the most bizarre idea that something clearly threatening which can repeat over and over in the period of decades in someone’s life could in any way be polite like street harassment (of course, how could anyone know what has happened to anybody previously. Oh how indeed.) but still there are people who find attacking on a street and stalking on the internet flirtatious and almost a right of theirs to move on and with, to get on top of that at the time interesting ’thing’ who they target. The idea that someone beautiful is there to be used and exists for that reason only, exists for someone not for herself, not as a person who has the same human rights but as a thing, empty like there isn’t still much there because she is a thing. Incapability to understand and take into consideration what other person can feel and think is amazingly alive, insensibility, indifference and lack of respect for women as people continue as ever, as women were cattle. The polite user of an object (alive) can look at it from all angles and when he is done, what then? Can move ahead as his politeness has made an impression on the object found and has been awarded by this courtesy, object is checked and done with. Quite an exploration into human psyche when a scratch on surface will do to make conclusions on damaged goods. Target has shown gratitude for the attention that she for being so beautiful seeks.

This is an interesting topic for me to investigate as it is a wheel of fortune or wheel of destiny, unstoppable and extremely cruel. How woman is perceived because of her gender she is born in, her appearance and what to look like and why, anything she does and says and why she does what she does are to follow orders. Why she is what is? And why those questions mark her or more over do the answers do the marking, stigmatizing, as answers are set.

”Women’s rights advocates like her see a continuum between the deadly violence and supposedly harmless everyday sexism. It’s true that Argentine men feel entitled to deliver a public “piropo” — literally, a compliment; in practice, any lewd comment or wolf whistle — to any woman of their choosing. What may once have been a tradition of poetic gallantry has degenerated into crude catcalling and aggressive repositioning. Such routine street harassment is widely regarded as socially acceptable, a masculine right even.” http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/16/opinion/argentine-women-call-out-machismo.html?_r=0 ”Ms. Tuñez’s nonprofit organization, which provides shelter for 200 victims of abuse every month, is the only source for figures on femicide in Argentina. According to its count, more than 1,800 women were victims of femicidal violence between 2008 and 2014. That works out to one woman killed at least every 36 hours.”

http://www.economist.com/news/asia/21654123-south-asia-one-worst-places-world-be-female-despite-being-woman?fsrc=scn/tw/te/pe/ed/banyan ”The resources spent on women in South Asia are shared more unevenly than in most places. Among the richest quintile in Delhi (it is a similar story in Dhaka and elsewhere), women can enjoy maternal and other care close to first-world standards. By contrast the poorest quintile in the same cities, especially in slums, endure conditions as bad—or worse—than in far poorer villages:”

When we focus on feminism and women’s rights men are in many ways in important role in making change happen. They have to involve themselves in changing manhood, putting it under magnifying glass, manhood which is the very dictating part of creating rules of how we interact.

| Henna Timanttimetsä

We easily disregard men in talks about feminism and I have often come across the notion that men do not want to hear about feminism, because it is only about women and their problems. Well things aren’t that simple, isolated nor happen in vacuum, so I guess largely problems that are about the problematic relations between genders are not solved between women and by women only. Men have to participate, as men have to participate in raising their daughters and sons, which very often doesn’t happen just like that as we all are aware and many have experienced. Feminism is not only about grown up women and their rights, their difficulties, wrong-doings that happen to them. It is about children, young adults, all adults young and old, all people. It is about the never-ending discrimination that is justified by religions and traditions, power relations between genders and the basic need to solve the issue of discrimination, oppression, humiliation, neglect, gender-based violence and so forth. It is a very fundamental issue that happens to deal with all of us, all people once again. Feminism the swear word, silenced and loathed, the feared movement that has made already a giant difference. Certainly you have noticed.

We often do not acknowledge the factual violent nature of masculinity as bad. Nature of being a man that emphasizes natural urges, instincts, natural laws, naturalness of hunter-like masculinity that cannot be changed or argued, the natural hierarchies between genders therefore grounded and lawful, unchangeable. The bizarre nature of how men still view themselves through an ancient ideology of manhood that for many is undeniable but can be other than what reality shows masculinity to be, weak and scared. The image of manhood today is hopefully critically looking at himself by himself from down to earth not from space above. The strong, unquestionable, trustworthy authority figure, an action figure, conquering because that is what he does. It is his purpose to be a giant. And what it should be, manhood, all that and is not. Manly roles in society are often reasons to many problems all of the society faces and why is that..is that the power issue, credibility issue, authority and status issue? Who hold power dear and like to use it? Manly roles of what to me seem to be monsters in disguise, are a lie. The boxes of men become boxes for everyone to be in or out, live with not without. Those who do not like them are squashed and ridiculed, bullied to death.

As I see it, it is masculinity that we have to obey, like the beast, the threat of masculinity posing via cars, jobs, offices, achievements, possessions. What masculine men represent becomes a mantra for all of society, boys grow into this game too lightly. They believe it. It is the image of a true man what they need to become to be worthy. Self-love and sadism are the ruling features for a masculine ideal to happen over and over again. That is what masculinity does and wants, to rule, to have the last word and own as much as one can. It is a silencing and forcing kind of mode that many people who do not wish to be alpha males nor wish to be subjects of have to deal with. Violence is part of that strong manhood one way or another and it has one very straight forward approach to deal with all things. It is difficult to oppose for this reason as is the herd of bulls difficult to maintain. A strong man has his prejudices that he thinks are absolutely correct. Minds do not change that easily. Heroic macho ideals do not apologize, negotiate or believe in something that someone smaller says or thinks. Fragile can be beautiful and it is childlike. Masculinity is all about size, conquering with size and force, benefiting financially via that grandiose amount of stature. Such masculinity needs flattery, pals to feel connected and approved, trophies such as heroism, status symbols and women that somehow self-evidently are part of the cult of naturally divine masculinity to be adored. Masculinity that never does wrong and even if he does he has his good reasons and right to do as he pleases, because that is what men do. They please themselves.

Yes this is a caricature and stereotype, but it is masculinity I see and have been experiencing, more or less always. You wish to make a change please begin at once.

”The Man Box. 
American men face an oppressive set of sexual and cultural restrictions on how to perform masculinity. One collective set of these cultural expectations is often referred to as the Man Box. (Charlie Glickman defines the Man Box beautifully here. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-escape-the-act-like-a-man-box/ One of the primary reasons that boys and men gay bash and bully queers is that they need to perform masculinity in order to show the world that they’re in the Box.) The smallest social or sexual deviations from these rules can result in punitive private and public shaming, by other men, by our partners, by our families.” 

”If you doubt this, see what happens to the average American man who wears bright pink socks for a day. See how many micro aggressions and shaming moments arise. This may be the land of the free, but most of us aren’t free to even pick our own socks”. – See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/megasahd-culture-of-shame-men-love-and-emotional-self-amputation/#sthash.gHrEUzaw.dpuf

Episteme

| Henna Timanttimetsä

Meaningfully vulgar, foul contingency
and open arms them to be cohesive, to bind us together, Juicy Lucy, should I believe her, taste her orange. Her disorder, her glory and glow, techniques of domination, open arms, tenderness and warmth. Standing powerlessly not moving an inch, only my eyelids do their reflex shutter movement on my lenses as I capture the moment to my archive of every moment in my life. The wet grass that I am standing on has given up on winter and black earth. Dividing practices come without forcing. There is something I cannot stand and it is a lie of affection. How much do we live in world of abstractions. Is all abstract? Sensing and reasoning to have sensed and reasoned. Certain amount of rage which follows, burns, boils over and torments. Deflower the girl. Deflowering earth. Deflowering her. Considered ruined. Difference is experienced. Deflowering truth.