To have been deflowered one’s cherry got popped. Perky expressions for a happening which is somewhat a little death for a girl or event of entering adulthood, a death-like experience can be very exhilarating and fun for a while. Someone penetrates you and you will enter as a person something corrupt. You become corrupted, used because you most likely are not the one who has power in this matter. It can be at its worse dishonouring where your virginity and dignity is gone. It is a funny and naive thing to be a virgin so to get rid off it surely is something to hurry but for a young woman and for a girl it can be a dangerous thing of dishonouring and dehumanizing. You are firstly a thing to be used and consequences usually are cruel for women. Men are heroes, women are not in this case. Young women who begin their sexual life very young will very likely be called names like whore, slut, cheap tramp, corrupt no good female who is destined to fail in life. Ever heard been called a bitch, nympho, fallen woman, nasty woman: one does not have to be sexually promiscuous to be called like this. All it takes is to do something which rebels the traditional position women should happily take and like. Be nice and you will be treated nice? False promise of course. When you go with the flow and act as you are expected to you will be abused and discarded when you are no longer useful. To be confident and do what you see best disregarding what people around you push you to do and be like, is what you should be doing.
To deflower means one is a flower before one begins one’s sex life. What one is after the cherry popping can be a matter of opinion. A woman who has lost her most priced asset or one is experienced? One is corrupted, especially female body is. One is learning the ways how to use and not use one’s body. One can be learning how to say no, when to say no, how to demand use of condom and why demand use of condom. One can learn that having sex with a stranger heavily drunk is a very bad idea but surely it can be experienced because it is exciting and thrilling. Or you can end up being fucked by many strangers during one night when you were too intoxicated to do anything to stop them and they had fun while you didn’t know anything about it or maybe you did but they were stronger than you.
Woman is alone in this matter. Shame is hers to bear, caused mainly by her. Shame is within her and she must be aware that she lures men to do things to her. Women are let to believe that men are animals that do what their instincts tell them and wrongdoings can be avoided only when women avoid situations which can lead to harm and use self-censoring that hides and camouflages them to background. Too much femininity is a sign of willingness and easy prey.
So we give quite a power to pure animals who cannot control their urges?
I have wondered for a long time about how with cute adorable things horrible truths and ugliness people make are kept hidden, underestimated and normalised. How something like fine art keeps telling people how wonderful and good its message is when the business truly is anything but wonderful and good. I personally can not find anything good about the ongoing way of contemporary art making grand illusions and telling people outside what is interesting and worthwhile to look at, how to think, how to see and to be in awe is the way to be and what moves us is the size.
Art commenting issues of the world like people there up were prophets who know what is good and how things should be done without them ever being wrong or admitting doing something wrong in repeat. Art is given such a position as an institution that it cannot be critiqued without being rude, without sounding bitter and envious. It is truly bizarre how well a corrupted system has taken over the position of absolute righteousness and possessing the knowledge of what is absolutely good and beautiful. A bubble where there is only absolutely wrong and absolutely right, in or out, seen or not being seen, being given voice or taken it away.
It looks that to truly know what goes on is not relevant but stay blind to ways of making is part of the deal because it is more fun and fun is what sells and is what most people seek/are interested in. Nothing wrong with that as such but when surface becomes the most important thing it is really problematic and we are not even supposed to argue that there would be a huge pile of problems, not the least intellectual ones and intellectual art claims to be which again is something one seriously should argue. When for example my art is seen through what I look like, when my appearance and origin tell people about what I do and think more than what I have to say, it is a perplexing paranoid situation of looking my work via my body and again a repetition of a pattern seen many times on. Sexism and misogyny faced and existing strongly without people noticing anything wrong with that picture, how stupid is that. Yes we are interested in feminism but we do not practice it in real life is the message. It is cute when women paint cute stuff, we can smile and feel happy about it.
I pay attention to Britney Spears as if it was only Britney that the problem of misogyny would involve but sadly the problem is huge and goes on as an unnoticed light issue unchanged because why bother to change something that clearly works. Female celebrities are the tip of an iceberg, if you allow the worn-out phrase, it still works though, the phrase. It is all women who are under microscope whether they are good mothers, good women, worthy as human beings compared to men who are naturally solidly deserving and able. Celebrity women are asked if they are good mothers, their possible pregnancies are monitored in hawk-like manner like they had somehow committed the sin of having sex, living as anybody else. Her life has had a happy ending because it is the climax, the expectation realising itself, we have watched and pushed her to go exactly that direction. Women marry with men and have babies, reproduce and look happy in doing so. That is why people fuck, oh sorry, make love, and of course stay happily married to another celebrity or someone who maybe uses influence of the spouse to make a career or then they have divorce which give a story to tell and confess what went wrong. What was the wedding like, who was there, how romantic luxury life and depictions of these royals sell tons of magazines, what were they wearing. Images and stories tell, they are all we want to see and hear.
To ask whether a woman is a good mother is something that is almost a compulsory question asked of all celebrity mothers. You like to be asked whether you are a good mother frequently? Like capabilities of successful women were less in this regard still than capabilities of the male ones. Men are never asked bluntly whether they are good fathers which is of course because a man is a good parent, right. Oh yes he is a wonderful father when asked what kind of father he is to his children, and a good husband. And we imagine what is a wonderful father like: he plays with his children, spends time with them, laughs with them and reads a bedtime story.
To be worried about Britney and her health is not an issue, it is like why bother, she is where everybody wants to be and where she wanted to be so she must face all the consequences. It is to report what happens to her nonstop despite the disturbance and repetition in media, despite how media makes her act and sound like. We still think it is her and her mistakes, her shame, her falling with a baby, her fault she must run and hide from the paparazzi. It is us that they feed, we buy it, the stories with good appetite and we eat as much as there is to eat like cannibals. Not to mention what kind of culture and atmosphere all this creates for youngsters to grow into. ”You are single now, why so and what is that like for you?” Circle of questions asked by journalist, by people who call themselves journalists, touch issues like sex, body, looks, pregnancies, wealth, relationships and the art these celebrities make. ”Your new record, it is on the charts, congratulations. What do you think about your new record?”
