To agitate and wage hate against someone: Bite me.

To my great surprise I have ended up moving from one hateful group to another. I have long stopped thinking it is my fault. I follow my interests and they are many. People have their reasons for hating and they do not need much for finding reasons. Hating for sake of hating is obviously good enough. As it happens many don’t recognize their behavior as hateful because it is common, normal and accepted, which is as such truly surprising that thinking you know is a valid way of grounding opinions and ways of interacting that do not alter. People can have a very twisted outlook on the world and to other people without much truth in their points of views. It is always the other to blame when something is not right.

If gossiping and stabbing in the back is not hateful I don’t know what is. If you promote yourself hating someone and think it is justified maybe you should seek help because that is fucked up. There are plenty of people who put people down talking bad things about those others and that scheme somehow lifts those bad talkers up. Very strange pattern of thought that through violence you could be lifted, elevated as better than. That is not accepted in schools, in art, in science nor at work, it is not accepted from parents.

Feelings. Nothing but feelings.

I am tempted to write about the most important human feature that guide us whether we like it or not. Emotions turn us do things, make us crave, want, desire, act in a way that makes difference in the world that it cannot be ignored. Doesn’t advertising, movies, music, food, our existence in the world make an emotion, make us emotional or indifferent. How does the indifference happen must be some kind of overload of glitter having made an impact and stuff that has been keeping pouring over us in a speed that makes us reject. Still there is no end to what glitters is gold ideology. It is as if we exist to feel and want not to think and consider, at least if one follows entertainment and how it builds meanings as layers and behind those shells there may not be a pretty picture nor a happy story (but we all know this, we just like to kid ourselves and like to see someone fall) images that the viewer might want to attach to oneself also to be somehow better than what one is. Togetherness, similarity, attachment and belonging, our need to be accepted and wanted is exploited as any human weakness and we somehow like it because we are weak in our constant yearning. Why else would the industry be there to greet us with bright colors and something to buy so much so that we choke. How much our decision-making is due to emotions to me seems to be quite a lot. We think we know when we don’t know but we must act like we know because a connoisseur is respected especially if one can present a bag of shit well and sell it. We trust the first impression and the sight in front of us telling the whole story which is not the way to get to know anything as any grown-up knows deep inside but what can we do when we like quick answers and trust salesmen and our true buddies.

When your feelings are too much to take, as are your actions, how do you look at yourself?

To feel bad only when exposed, that is something. But it is too late. It is too late to mourn how bad you feel. To feel bad for the exposure of yours and to have thought you could go on forever unaffected, unharmed, righteous, privileged as such knowing what you know is all and everything there is to know. What to examine in you what you thought was unchangeable and therefore good. That you are perfect and you look at the imperfect, in comparison to you what there is, is all to improve. 

Reasons for emotional coldness

To become nothing but a grin. To become an army of grins, to form accurate geometrical patterns in grin air on face, grinning, to stretch your face in a way it satisfies those who grin back at you and expect you to be grinning the same, the same, so that we would not be any different but the same in mutual understanding, and there would not be fear nor doubt, but all grinning the same exact similarity of smiling in which we can sigh in relief between our teeth of not needing to do anything more. Because there is not anything more as long as my face will do and it will do as I wish it to match the everlasting grin.

Feel the Hate

It comes back to you.

Writing enraged, furiously, following the drama of mankind. Don’t mix hate for anger. One is allowed to be angry, why not allow hate? There are similarities in terms of negative feelings and deeds, but hate is to destroy.

Maybe the ways of revealing and stating hate, hate against the opposite, against the weak, different. Hate against for whatever reason are more multiple and more out in the open than ever before. Therefore I conclude that the amount of hate possibly has not increased, but the ways of getting heard and noticed are more diverse, constantly variable and accessible and those who have strong views on how world should be constructed are loud.

I have to think about this, because this is about emotions which rule how we behave. I too say I hate something and I can enjoy for saying it. But in the end I do not enjoy hating. It eats me up if I feel hate. Rage is a leading force in me still. It is dangerous and delightful. What are the distinctive differences what comes to emotions?

Emotion. Em. motion. Emm.

Contextualized furor, living, aorta flowing, pumping, curling, suffocating in fullness but dehiscent,
to rupture and break open. It is something violent to live.
Trampoline on a yard covered with snow, a grey house and on its wall said Enchantment.
Reflections of passengers on train window. Their phones and laptops.

Making working and lasting mental Riot!

 

Emotions in making revolution. Why do we cry?

1.Fury and rage

Frantic is a good word to use in context of revolution. To believe in possibility of change to the extent of no alternatives than to find something better and revolution becomes a religion. Religion is emotional institution, faith in the unseen. To breath revolution. It is a beat and intoxicating. Faith is there to heal and take the pain away as a possibility of good and something good is on its way. A raging emotional desire to act on behalf of oneself and others. Faith sounding maybe a bit weird on any scene of revolution. Revolution somehow is seen as anti-religious and very possibly falsely so. It is a very religious movement as an institution of itself and as a monument, and it is important to know who and what to worship. And maybe decide that worshiping is out-of-order altogether.

within my grasp

Emotions as we and why do we like to abstain and refrain our emotions into illness. Having an order of emotions, taking them for granted and as inferior phenomenon which reason must rule and guide. An order which many of us seem to live by is not to, a no, a ban, prohibition of. What do we let out and what we do not because we are not allowed, because it is not proper, we do not dare? It is an interesting topic, because our emotional refusal, which could be called a plug that is not wished to be pulled, a tag, pivot behind a door, stepping stone, something nonverbal, unspoken inner banner which is there, but how far and can you see it. Inner banner, a flag of your own, what is it like?
 
Revolution is an emotional event. It is a moment of not wanting to have that plug anymore. Not wanting to be dictated, controlled over, told what to say, do, be like and feel.
It is feminine to feel, to show emotions, to cry, to laugh, be insecure, admit sensing. Crying is a powerful outburst with tears and facial expressions. Crying is probably the most controlled emotional and physical act, please don’t cry, I would have to react to your tears. 

irrational behavior of those who oppose, lunacy, mental. To declare mental